Posted March 13, 2017 by Zach with 44 comments
Finally, a gay porn awards show I can respect.
I disapprove of all visual media featuring a fully-clothed Mario Lopez.
See? Even Ellen understands.
As a lesbian, I’m sure Ellen can appreciate an amazing pair of thick thighs. Even if they’re on a man.
How was he on Nip/Tuck and he was hardly nipped or tucked?
He was one of the few characters who did NOT require any nipping or tucking.
Point noted, but the nip and tuck I had in mind had nothing to do with surgery.
Mario’s body has been on point since Saved by the Bell. I can understand why Ali Landry gave him the boot, but the hoe in me would’ve been serving him Doritos every night. https://media3.giphy.com/media/gwCs9TnKlWqre/200w.gif#35
Mario Lopez is very good at being consistently scorching hot. The one thing that annoys me though is that he says that all he does is eat well and stay active by playing with his kids. Bitch, no. You do strength training at least 6 days per week, do high intensity interval cardio at least 4 days per week, eat at least 170g of protein per day, eat no more than 50g of carbs per day, take creatine supplements, take BCAA supplements, and have probably experimented with anabolic steroids or HGH. Don’t try it, pretty boy; I see you.
Maybe back then but not today. His body clearly looks much softer than it did during his Saved By The Bell days. Yea he still works out in the gym but probably not as intensely as before.
This was him last October: https://media1.popsugar-assets.com/files/thumbor/Jx0a9ger_bj5tNxHo9tq4wjimd8/fit-in/1024×1024/filters:format_auto-!!-:strip_icc-!!-/2015/10/09/849/n/37139775/057a57eeb28b83b2_FFN_Lopez_Mario_SAM_072813_51167264/i/Shirtless-Pictures-Mario-Lopez.jpg
Looks pretty damn good to me.
If you’re going to lie, at least try to fool somebody.
The gaymer in me knows that FFXIV: Stormblood comes out 2 days earlier and will just consume my time/wreck my sleep cycle >.>
Wow, I can’t wait! What will the awards be called? The Str8ies?
I thought you would have a show in Palm Springs.
Your very own awards ceremony in NYC? How extravagant! You’re really moving up in the world, Zach! Congrats!
P.S. I actually am being sincere…for once.
Where does it say NYC? Not that we wouldn’t love to host it Zach! I’m sure Duckface would gladly attend.
Edit: I know I know, I hadn’t clicked the link. NYC it is!!!
On the website for the Awards. It’s in the “Get ready…” link.
Thanks, I discovered that right after I posted.
WOW, Amazing! This should be interesting. Who is the celebrity icon host? Is it going to be a real celebrity or a gay porn celebrity? Hmmmmm……
Neil Patrick Harris maybe? He enjoys Sean Cody.
I’d really like to know what he thinks of Sean Cody now! If he ever shows up on WWHL someone should send him a question asking him about the state of the site and if he still has a membership.
I’m sure he has contacts with the high end escorts like CF’s Connor to help him relieve those old days in a more personal way.
Why not both? Get Dustin Lance Black to do it!
That won’t happen if he ever found Zach’s most recent comment on Dustin’s mini-series When We Rise, and also some past comments I think he made about his relationship with Tom Daly.
Something in between I’m sure. So more than likely a Drag Race drag queen. My bet is on Bianca Del Rio.
I think that’s too obvious plus it says celebrity icon i don’t think anyone would say Bianca is an icon?
Except for someone who calls 2 twinks a power couple lol
ouch! well that’s tongue in cheek satire
I’m most excited to learn the names of the categories.
Oh god, this means RyRo and the Helix models will probably win everything… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/81b82605a062fad060d1ca549220a5cb5df1f93774f90d11fdeb7630c7c2bbec.gif
yep. the most annoying thing about this site. the obsessed with horse faced Ryan Rose and his poop tooth
May I suggest we have the Razzies of gay porn?
Categories include: -Worst Top & Bottom -Most Annoying Moans -Worst Set Design & Soundtrack -Worst delivery of a niche fetish -Most Ridiculous Set-up for a Sex Scene -Worst Studio (overall) -Worst Performer (overall) -Worst Comeback/Retiree Performance -Most Tragic Waste of Hot Men/Worst Gangbang -and finally the “What Were They Thinking?” Award
Also, worst socks
Myles from SC. He has holes in his.
All categories are on point. Make this happen. Bravo!!
Jimmy Durano & Brandon Johnny V Sketchy Sex/Falcon Bromo Anything family related Sean Cody Will Braun Markie More / Leo Gamiani Men.com’s Star Trek parody SC’s “awful” press release
FINALLY, I can’t wait to hear Zach saying… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e97552eb8558753f4669d2e45106d73fb67ed16fb2edb7afe9534fc1a3ca48d4.gif
And by the way, for all the contestants… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d2004a43d39abe4bad27ebfc52f284165d1feedda0c555a534d3b330a50f3187.gif
this is going to be shady as fuuuuuck. I am so ready!!!!
“The First Annual Mariah No-Middle-Name Carey Award for excellence in shading goes to…” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e0a2ca26475a8f09ec05a4b9360bd92f2c9feb89bf75f994a1ba4064bdb63b51.gif
Best short clip. Dallas Steele, in a sling, getting barebacked by Cutler X on Twitter!
I’m particularly interested in the “Best Furniture in a Sex Scene” category. Normally I would have thought it was the White Chair’s year, but a strong showing by the black ottoman is going to make this an interesting race. And let’s just hope “Best Walk-Off Sex Scene After Breaking an Odious Ersatz Contract” is going to be a category as well as “Most Anticipated Parole of a Porn Star in 2017”, makes it to Zach’s list. My fingers are crossed that things work out so that Jarec can be out for Christmas. The holidays without our favorite gun-weidling extortionist on the gay porn scene is just UNTHINKABLE.
If you stay ready you ain’t got to get ready. https://media1.giphy.com/media/d3mlE7uhX8KFgEmY/200.gif#10
Three months? Porn bitches gonna be working on their catwalk like https://media3.giphy.com/media/l0HlxRdxVNoansDYc/200.gif#42
Obviously shade is going to be served for dessert, but what’s the entrée? I’m anticipating fricassee cunt with roasted red pepper couscous. And I imagine there would be some sort of fish option for those nominees who don’t eat meat. With Crystal and Coke to wash it down, ‘natch.
LOL I’m sure these matter LOL
At least you portray that you can do Gay Porn and still have a small dick. (Is that a category)
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