Gay Porn Blind Items: Summer Edition!
Welcome to Str8UpGayPorn’s Gay Porn Blind Items! We’re spilling t and throwing shade, but don’t worry, henny, we’re not naming names (yet!)!
Think you know who one of these gay porn blind items is about? Call them out in the comments, queen!
*Item: Which gay porn producer/director is so cheap, he deducts the cost of bottled water, Viagra, lube, condoms, enemas, and WiFi from his models’ scene rates?
*Item: This gay porn star’s enormous ass implants are finally starting to lose their shape after years of use, which has forced him to ask for new ass implants on his Amazon Wish List. The implants run about $5,000 each, and he’s said he’d be willing to go “one cheek at a time” if the total cost for both ($10,000) is too much for his generous fans.
*Item: Desperate times call for desperate measures, but this gay porn star/YouTube advice vlogger is taking “desperate” to the next level by writing himself FAKE questions from FAKE fans in order to record his notoriously boring advice videos. Someone is definitely in need of some mental “help,” that’s for sure!
*Item: This ratchet and thirsty gay porn star/hooker has been having so much trouble finding escort clients, he’s resorted to creating fake Rentboy profiles and catfishing potential Johns by pretending to be hotter gay porn stars with better name recognition. When he meets the client in person and isn’t who he obviously pretended to be, he blames the entire sham on a “technical web page mix-up” at Rentboy!
*Item: After seeing the success of other gay porn parodies like “Gay Of Thrones” and “Fuck Dynasty,” this gay porn studio has decided to do their own gay porn parody—it’s a bareback movie featuring an all-star cast of cum dumpsters called “The Strain.”
*Item: Oooooh girl. This gay porn studio is so broke and so shady, they pay their models with post-dated checks (usually at least three weeks out) and only buy them one-way flights so they’ll be forced to hang around and film more cheap scenes. Also, one of the owners of the site is also a performer who lies about his HIV status (he tells scene partners he’s negative) and then films bareback scenes with newcomers who are afraid to ask to see his test results, since he’s the boss.
*Item: This wildly popular gay porn star’s exclusive contract with a big studio is about to be up for renewal, and thanks to his manager, the new contract will stipulate that once he finally does retire, the studio must pay for his anal rejuvenation surgery.
*Item: This gay porn superstar is totally addicted to bareback sex, but he still wants to remain HIV-negative. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have health insurance, so he’s started a GoFundMe page to raise money for an out-of-pocket Truvada prescription! The total amount requested is $15,000, and donor rewards include personalized tweets, signed DVDs, and—for fans in the continental United States who donate $3,000 or more—the opportunity to have bareback sex with the gay porn star and breed his hole (only after he’s started his Truvada regimen, of course!).
