If You Could Have Lucas Entertainment Produce A Movie, What Would It Be?

Posted August 2, 2017 by with 33 comments

mlLucas Entertainment is running a poll right now to help them determine what their next production will be, and it’s up to people on the internet to decide! From the Lucas Entertainment site, “Project Porno“:

Running now until the end of August, we’re having an open call for submissions and votes on a Lucas Entertainment production. We’re open to ANYTHING! All submissions that are legally feasible and financially viable will be added to the nominees – whichever title has the most votes by 12:00am September 1st, will be produced by Lucas Entertainment! Voting and submissions are open to all – tell us what you want to see, and we’ll make it happen!

Given this is Michael Lucas (a disgraced bigot who harasses and threatens models, and who’s been accused of illegally distributing drugs on his sets), I doubt he’ll honor whichever movie idea gets the most votes, and he’ll instead just make another horrific movie in a toxic swamp, as usual. But, the one good thing about the poll is that you can at least add in your own suggestion for a movie, and there are a couple of interesting ones that have been submitted.

First:

duckt

Also:

shit

And:

mio

Be sure to vote for your fave here, and be sure to add in your own idea to make the poll more interesting for people voting. And, feel free to share your Lucas Entertainment movie ideas in the comments below, if you submitted any to the poll.

ADDED:

Duckface is deleting user-submitted ideas quickly, so keep ’em coming as fast as you can! Here are some more fun ones just added:

yallAND:

Duckface must’ve gotten upset seeing some of the movie ideas, as they’ve placed a hold on all submissions, and they now require approval:

added

Looks like Lucas Entertainment isn’t really “open to ANYTHING!” and they’ve misled their fans. Sad.

  • Paul

    Milo and Michael? What?
    who is Ann coulter?

    • edginghours

      Stay ignorant of these demons.

    • Maximus

      Ann Coulter was the kind, loving, generous headmistress of a reform school for homeless girls in NYC. She died in 1880. In 1961, a small coven in NYC discovered her diaries in the condemned building that housed the reform school. Hoping to return the benevolent Ann to their community, the coven resolved to resurrect her. Unfortunately, the spell had unforeseen consequences, and the Ann who came back was nothing like her original self. She returned to the world of the living without conscience, empathy, decency, or compassion. She’s now a professional IRL rightwing troll, making her living writing books and giving speeches meant to offend decent Americans and appeal to the worst members of our society. The Str8UpGay Coven has been trying to devise a spell that would restore Ann’s goodness, but we’ve so far been unsuccessful. The magicks used to resurrect her drew upon dark, powerful forces.

      • peter

        To be honest, I think she’s bipolar. As the president told Howard Stern, ‘deeply trouble’ women are great in bed, which I suspect is why Bill Maher likes Ann so much.

        • Maximus

          She doesn’t seem to oscillate between mania and depression, so bipolar isn’t accurate. It’s pretty clear to me that she’s just an evil rotted cunt.

  • Maximus
    • Marik Ishtar

      He actually was supposed to, but it was never released.

      • Marik Ishtar
        • Maximus

          How did you obtain this photo?……

          • McM.

            I think it’s either from an old publicity stunt where he was “found dead in his NY apartment” complete with fake press release, or it’s from the end of one of his films.

          • Maximus

            Well sure, if you want to be all plausible about it. I prefer to believe that Miss Marik was once hired to assassinate Duckface—and was required to provide photographic proof that the deed had been done—and that Duckface was resurrected using dark magicks.

    • peter

      Damn you! I was going to post the exact same thing!

    • Scrapple

      Oh no. Killing Lucas is the final seal preventing Lucifer’s return. Don’t you watch Supernatural?

      • Maximus

        I stopped watching once I had made it past the episodes that people cite when they accuse the show of queerbaiting. There is no queerbaiting, by the way. The actors themselves are SUPER queer. When you learn about the details Jensen and Jared’s work, family, and living arrangements, it becomes apparent that the two are gay lovers. Also, Misha definitely has male-male-female threesomes with his wife. However, the characters that Jensen and Jared play on TV are unambiguously heterosexual. Of the characters who Misha plays, one (Castiel) is a non-reproducing higher being, and the other (the guy whose body Castiel possesses) is heterosexual.

        • Scrapple

          Agreed about the show and the actors. There are moments when Dean is presented as being slightly homo curious in an adolescent kind of way. And he does have a fragile ego that makes him want to be desired by men along with women (stemming from his parental and abandonment issues) but when that male attention is brought forth his reactions vary. In the Golem episode for instance, he was downright flustered when the gay Jewish character insinuated he was family, and he was somewhat disappointed when the guy was revealed to be immune to Dean’s charms. The queerbaiting issue comes up regularly because of the personal lives of the actors, the running gag of people assuming the boys are in a relationship (which is more of a commentary of the sadness of their lives rather than a statement on their perceived sexualities) and the fact that the show addresses and plays with stereotypes about masculinity.

          • Maximus

            I agree with everything except the final statement. Ultimately, the show reifies the archetypal ideal prescribed and proscribed by hegemonic masculinity. The protagonists are tall, athletic, virile, assertive, uncompromising, alpha males who are obsessed with familial loyalty, solve all of their problems with violence, and actively manage the way in which their respective masculinities are perceived by others.

          • Scrapple

            That’s more Dean than Sam. Sam has always (with a few exceptions here and there, like when he lost his soul or just gave no fucks) been portrayed as the more rational, empathetic brother. He was the one who was into books and stuff and literally had to be dragged into the family business. He’s the “Ask questions first, shoot later” hunter. The one who talks about feelings and stuff. The fact that he’s the bigger of the two plays against the expected stereotype. And he’s not nearly as whorish as Dean.

          • Maximus

            It’s relative though. Sam may be less hypermasculine in some respects compared to Dean, but that’s not saying a lot given how much of a basic bro Dean is.

          • Scrapple

            I think it goes beyond the comparison to Dean, because when you look at them separately Sam is almost always viewed as the feminized Winchester, which plays against type considering his size. Dean even Calls Sam “Sammy” which has led to Crowley calling him “Samantha” on more than one occasion. Dean calls Sam “Bitch” while Sam calls Dean “Dick” or “Jerk.” There’s also Sam’s hair choices. It was getting very long for a while. But the biggest thing is probably Sam being Gadreel vessel. For a long time. He literally had another dude inside him. And it’s different from the Jimmy/Cas situation because Sam has also been possessed/vesseled by the Meg Demon, Lucifer and a Leviathan. The boys have both been taken over, but I think Sam has spent more time on that end. And Sam eats what most people would consider “chick food.”

  • McM.

    Ugh! That last one.

    https://68.media.tumblr.com/9dff1189dc8bfdd0bc0f19950f230dad/tumblr_inline_nhz5geQzap1t2msb4.gif

    The feeling of revolution is gonna stick with me for a while. Glad I haven’t recently eaten.

  • McM.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/eec99da3ac3f0a3d628f9d1a9f17c1086a7486921caa174d53650b8802aa3042.jpg

    Which one of you foul, unrepentant bitches did this?!

    I can’t with ya’ll!

  • OverKill
  • Zealot

    The UnBAREable Truth: A Michael Lucas Joint. Covering everything from international politics and Jewry to the “Muslim Question” the West struggles with almost daily– Michael Lucas tackles these topics with his usual aplomb and acumen. Also, in lighter sections Lucas discusses the unique challenges of scouting porn locations in third-world swamps and shares some useful cleaning short cuts he’s found useful over the years. Always wanted to know how to get bodily waste stains out of $500/yd. damask drapes? Michael has your answer!

  • badgamer1967
  • peter

    Milo Does Rikers?

  • Mike Julius

    That photo proves how the darkness of a person’s soul can come to the fore.

  • Jason

    Bare BnB … *giggle*

  • lordgabux

    Well, as of a moment ago, all the ideas focusing on his most nefarious shenanigans are still visible, and I don’t see anything wrong with a moderator monitoring the ideas and approving or rejecting them. We know the net is populated with crazy people and (haters) who could submit something flagrantly illegal just to mess with duckie…
    I just submitted an idea, and it is so revolutionary that if he does it without informing me there will be no consequences hahahahahaha and I hope he uses it ’cause it’s something we haven’t seen there mwhahahahaha

  • Who what where when how…

    Pato on the Guillotine…