Separated At Birth: Jed Athens’ Asshole And Return Of The Jedi’s Sarlacc Pit

Posted February 2, 2015 by with 18 comments

Jed-Athens-gaping-cum-dumpster-hole-630x280Over the past two years, walking hazmat spill Jed Athens has threatened to shoot Falcon director Bruno Bond with a gun, falsely claimed to be dating Erik Rhodes at the time of his death, told me to commit suicide by jumping in front of a train, trashed every studio he’s ever worked for, and tried to get his ex-boyfriend banned from gay porn. And all that time, his gaping wound of an asshole always looked so familiar to me, but I could never quite put my finger on what exactly it reminded me of.

Today, I finally figured it out: Remember the Sarlacc pit from Return Of The Jedi?

jedholeSarlacc-BTM-DBJed-Athens-gaping-cum-dumpster-hole-630x280ezgif-3193802799

***

In other Jed Athens news, he’s in a new CocksureMen scene today.

On the one hand, it’s nice to see that CocksureMen is finally releasing content that wasn’t filmed next to an air conditioning machine in Eastern Europe circa 1995, but on the other hand…

CocksureMen’s new content is a scene with Jed Athens.

Enter at your own risk…

16

[CocksureMen: Brad Kalvo Barebacks Jed Athens]

  • Todd

    Between shots like these and Nica’s nipples all over the place, this is how I click on Str8UpGayPorn nowadays ……..

  • pennessee

    that hole needs its own birthday cake:

  • Alan Keddie

    Well that’s offensive!!!!… To the Sarlacc Pit.

  • bob80

    Oh boy, that’s what they should show in gay conversion therapy, I think I’m straight now.

  • robirob
  • loyalty888

    This is pretty mean spirited.

    • zach

      Relax…I’m pretty sure the Sarlacc can take a joke.

      • Mike Julius

        LOL!

    • Todd

      Welcome to Str8UpGayPorn ….glad you found the site !

  • Estelle

    His ass is on meth…. rather his asshole is on meth….

  • Andre

    “Today, I finally figured it out: Remember the Sarlacc pit from Return Of The Jedi?”

    You probably could’ve figured it out sooner if you read my comments on your previous Jed Athens posts…
    -“I can see him winning an award for ‘anus that most resembles a sarlacc’. Totes.”
    -“This should be fun. I hope the sarlacc sees this and goes on another tirade. Always amusing.”

    • zach

      You realized it before I did! But I assure you, if I had gotten the idea from your comment, I would’ve credited you.

      • moondoggy

        Did you see Armond Rizzo’s hole after Champ Robinson fucked it?

        • sxg

          It was definitely the tastiest cruller I’ve ever seen!

  • While his personality is a little prickly he does have a nice body.

  • Cosmic

    Interestingly the Sarlacc is supposed to be thousands of years old yet it looks fresher and less used up than Jed’s hole.

  • urbanprepschool

    Look, I like bareback porn as much as the next gay, but something about bareback scenes from Cocksure just seem so….wrong.

  • seth

    yes its about the same as the jedi except the jedis is cleaner and tighter