Here’s The Fucking Johnny Rapid Gay Porn Parody Of Fucking Pokemon

Posted August 31, 2016 by with 84 comments

FuckemongoNext to Donald Trump, the stupidest fucking bullshit that people won’t stop talking about in 2016 is Pokemon fucking Go. Well, I’m part of the fucking problem, because here’s the fucking promo for Men.com’s gay porn parody of Pokemon Go, “Fuckemon Go,” starring Johnny Rapid. Fuck.

fucke1The most fucked up part of all? They actually spent the fucking time to get the details right and make this look really good (for a gay porn parody), using the same ugly costumes, stupid music, and idiotic terminology. Or, at least I assume this looks good—I don’t know a god damn thing about Pokemon.

Johnny Rapid is somebody named “Ash”:

pk1

Will Braun is somebody named “Brock”:

pk3

Adam Bryant is something called “Pikachu”:

pk2

Men.com even spent time and money on some decent (again, for gay porn) special effects, and I suppose if I were the kind of motherfucking loser who played Pokemon, I would “appreciate” their efforts here.

fucke2

Adam Bryant and Will Braun look good, and Johnny Rapid looks exceptionally hot here.

7 24 23 15Is Johnny tanner? Is he working out? Maybe it’s just the Photoshop.

Fuck this, I’m out.

fucke3fucke4Trailer (watch full scene here):

[Men.com’s Fuckemon Go: Adam Bryant, Will Braun, Johnny Rapid]

 

 

  • TheThom

    I can’t even fucking deal.

  • Estelle

    Does the Pokemon costume used in a porn pose in copyright infringement issues? Usually porn parodies alter or adjust so they don’t have that issue, but men/mindgeek appears not to have done so.

    • Mike Julius

      That’s not usually a problem for parodies. Suing a parody for infringement is a waste of time.

  • Miloš Del Rey

    Pokemon is fun, I played it a lot when I was younger and even a bit now. Don’t knock it cause Men is making a shitty parody of it. Shit I’m waiting for men to make a Zachary Sire parody…

    • Mike Julius

      Joanne should costar

      • Xzamilloh

        Hey.. Joanne can put her back into it. I’ve seen the sextapes.

        • Mike Julius

          Oh, so have I. I had his tumblr before he became a scammer…

          • gaycockluvr

            Wait…what? I knew nothing of this.

          • Rob Wilson

            look up PradaBoiSwagg on MyVidster

    • Ceecee

      I don’t know how to feel about a Zach Sire porn parody, but if Men was feeling particularly sassy they’d have Johnny Rapid play him.

    • sxg

      A Zach Sire parody? I don’t think there’s much of a story there to do a parody about someone watching tired washed up drag queens every weekend badly lip syncing and dancing for loose change and going home alone.
      https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/6/7/16/anigif_enhanced-buzz-29660-1370636102-15.gif
      Only joking of course Zach!

  • Andrew S.

    Honestly, this makes Next Door Studios’ version look nuanced and artistic. Not only is this ripping off the pokemon series and not the mobile app but they’ve white washed the main characters and if the music in the promo is anything to go by this will only get more offensive in full and the less said about the butt plug or the pikachu costume the better.

    • FitAsianGuy

      Since they have rarely/never used Asian models….

      • Andrew S.

        all these pokemon parodies really highlight the lack of asian men used in porn because this and the other one were white guys but at least NDR wasn’t trying to pass off two white boys as asian ones? To go this literal is doing the ABSOLUTE most but then again this is MEN.com and when do they ever do something aside from that?

        • WhimsyCotton

          I think that has more to do with Asian culture and parents expecting a lot from their kids. Explains why it’s so hard to find good Japanese gay porn. At least, that’s what I think.

          • Andrew S.

            Certainly there’s also a conversation to be had about how western media & culture has de-sexualized the asian man as well as a general discussion of how men of color are either emasculated or fetishized in the service of the white gay gaze but I’m not sure this horrible white washed parody deserves it.

          • WhimsyCotton

            I don’t know, White America got pretty thirsty over Nathan Adrian’s fine ass. I guess he would be an exception because of his Olympian status.

          • Andrew S.

            there’s always an outlier exception like Nathan or Idris Elba or Oscar Isaac or Godfrey Gao that people – not just white gays but white society in general – to sexualize and cite as as reason they are ‘OFC not racist u guise!’. It’s tokenizing and I am so sick of it myself as a QPOC.

          • Scrapple

            I think some members of White America were oblivious to Nathan being part Asian. He’s like the Dean Cain or Meg/Jennifer Tilly of swimming.

          • WhimsyCotton

            Oblivious to his 50% Chinese because he’s 100% hot.

            http://www.alanilagan.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/nathan-adrian-0000.jpg

        • sxg

          When a porn studio like Peter Fever, who has been trying to build an image of being an American gay porn site, can’t even produce all their scenes to have at least one Asian, it’s not a problem on the casting part it’s a lack of availability of Asians for gay porn to begin with.

    • Dale Bergman
      • Andrew S.

        the only thing worse than the acting are the costumes. At least these aren’t baggy like the batman vs. superman ones?

  • Dale Bergman
  • WhimsyCotton

    Zach, you’re showing your age! Pokemon is for everyone! Well, for everyone except MEN. I don’t what the fuck this is supposed to be. I guess Stripperchu is pretty hot.

  • Xzamilloh

    Okay…. nothing going on on the porn front tonight. Take care

    http://i.imgur.com/M2siMpx.gif

  • sans

    Something tells me Zach didn’t have a childhood.

    • Andrew S.

      or just wasn’t a 90s kid maybe?

      • Mike Julius

        He’s the right age to be a 90’s kid…
        I was a 90’s kid, but I was never into pokemon, or even power rangers

      • sans

        If you were born in 98 are you still considered a 90s kid?

  • Blacharrt

    this is like a nightmare i had once.

  • Scrapple

    I hope they let Johnny keep his wardrobe. He can use it when he takes his kids out for Halloween.

    • Hereweare

      LOL!!

  • Mike Julius

    Definitely can’t hate on the costumes. Someone actually cares about Pokemon there.

  • kevin

    how much does men.com pay you to write pieces about their shite?

  • snoopyfo

    ok… gay porn is getting to the ridiculous level str8 porn parodies are, lol, not good, LMAO, i dont even know what to think

  • Spongey

    About the only good thing I can say is that I would look Amazonian next to these little guys and that I like the patch of fur on Johnny Rapid’s birdie chest.

    • V1

      Adam needs to show Johnny a few leg exercises to work on those toothpicks.

  • Zealot

    This post was approved by the Furry Man Love Association (not to be confused with the Family & Medical Leave Act which provides job protection for certain family-related health events).

    Oops! Someone need go walkies!?

  • Odetofear

    The concept is confusing, are they in a Pokemon type world or are they just playing the phone game? The idea of fucking a pikachu is dumb, yes I’m a geek and yes I care. Lol

    • sans

      At least its not like the straight version of this parody. (shudders)

  • JT

    lol….I am so intrigued by this!

  • Futanari-Kisaragi Yagami

    …..My childhood.

    Men, y u do dis.

  • Pertinax

    Porn is trash…Gay porn is trashier…Gay porn with the disgusting and disturbing cracker Johnny Rapid is vomit-inducing. To see this crazy foetus – a father of three – in a fuckery that involves ‘ Pokemòn Go ‘ is repellent.

    • Mike Julius

      Y u do dis?

      • Pertinax

        Because I have a plan : I want to fix the whole world and after that, dominate the mankind.

    • beariac

      Kim Davis really didn’t like it when I applied for a licence to marry Pikachu.

      • Maximus

        Allow me to explain. Pikachu and Ursaring (pictured below) are in different Egg Groups, meaning that they cannot breed and produce an egg. Kim Davis is an adherent to a backward ideology that deems love between two Pokémon as insignificant or lesser if that love cannot result in biological offspring.

        http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/3/3d/Spr_5b_217_m.png

        • beariac

          Hehe, thanks. TIL. If I’d known there were Bearémon maybe I’d’ve got into the craze. Naaaah, jk.

          Hope you’re having a fun Bey-thday on your long w/e.
          http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lu95u2JlVQ1qkvue8o1_250.gif
          Oh, and you’ve said you’re not on twatter, but does that mean you don’t look at people’s TLs either? If not, news just in:
          KJ has either deactivated his temporarily or been deleted by twitter, and the sugp a/c has been suspended. (for a few days, prob)
          http://i.imgur.com/5lCJG9A.gif

          • Maximus

            So much internet jargon……

            http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-11YTLaawUdI/Uc6ZFWvGJPI/AAAAAAAANmY/1njF_qq8MwA/s233/Finn-Hudson.gif

            …All right, it took some Googling, but I managed to decipher it. Ah! Poké-picnic! Too cute!

            No, I don’t view tweets unless they’re specifically referenced by some outside source. For example, a Google search led me to a Buzzfeed list that posted this tweet: https://mobile.twitter.com/MattBellassai/status/639768950121852928

            sanfv mentioned that Killian just set his account to private. Is it now not there at all? Why would the SUGP account be suspended?

          • beariac

            Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk! (not an acronym) The (com)bees were the icing on the cake 😉 and that’s a great tweet.

            Yeah, KJ the flibbertigibbet that he is was switching bw public and private and tweeting up a shitstorm of nonsense after promising not to engage, as always. (I can’t help but be captivated by a train-wreck in progress.) My guess is he’s just deactivated the account for a while since twitter gives users a ‘cooling-off’ period before deleting it totally, unless he totally fucked up and they wiped him. DKDC (don’t know, don’t care) either way.

            IDK about the SUGP a/c. Zach (much as we’d like him to) knows better than to post dick pics on the profile or header (unlike KJ), so I can’t speculate.

            The US Open Tennis is far more engaging at the moment tbh. :)
            http://i.imgur.com/oMFaxKq.gif

  • robirob

    The plastic smiles on Will Braun and Johnny Rapid are scary, Clown scary.

    • V1

      and they throw like little girls or twinky queens

  • gamera87

    Please stop trying to make Will Braun happen.

    • Casey Scott

      100% agreed! Easily the worst porn star working today, made worse because he constantly works and displays how abysmal he is.

      • GrownFury

        Ugh. Can’t STAND Will Braun. I agree with you 100%. He refuses to learn how to suck dick, be a good bottom or a good top! It’s like he’s still trying to prove how str8 he is while still doing all of these actions. That’s my real problem with G4P actors. They rarely go hard. You’re already on tv sucking dick…you might as well try and do an good job.

  • John

    Johnny is sexy as hell, this looks like a good porn, cant wait to see it…..

  • Kandel

    The fact that you can see the line from the hair dye, that was obviously put in 20 minutes before call time, makes this worth watching alone.

  • nick

    I do like Adam, he’s on that Troop Candy site too, looking good.

  • badgamer1967

    Just no, nope, nada, nein, いいえ

  • darkdexter

    This is the first gay porn parody that I never watch the trailer and the rest of promo photos after I knew that Johnny Rapid and Will Braun perform

  • McM.

    Did not realize Adam Bryant and Will Braun were this short. Other guys at MEN tower over him, but Johnny Rapid is the tallest one in this scene.

  • Marcus Collack

    OOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOO.
    I have to watch this, just because.
    I was too done after scrolling down and seeing pickachu, and.. and… Buttplugosaur.

  • pangelboy

    “Fuckemon Go”…that title…poor pikachu…johnny’s bad dye job…smh

    http://i.giphy.com/l4HnKwiJJaJQB04Zq.gif

  • Owen

    Does anyone know if this is the first time Johnny has rimmed another guy’s ass? It’s pretty hot seeing the little fucker eating someone out. I think this is the only time it’s happened.

  • Stacy

    FUCK ALL OF ‘YUNS

  • jon

    Someone stop Men from producing these ”parody” scenes, please.

  • Jon A

    I legit do not get it, do people actually find these parodies hot or enjoyable, who watches these things? It’s always so campy, cheap, cheesy, badly done that it’s a boner kill for me.

    I know tastes differ and all, but I honestly cannot fathom that anyone enjoys this shit, like what?

  • HoratioCaine

    what the hell is that tatted freak doing playing the poke me man.

  • Javier Smith

    Having a white guy play Pikachu?? Will the yellowface in Hollywood never end?!?!