Jordan Levine Mistakes Jeremy Spreadums’ Ass For His Girlfriend’s Ass, Proceeds To Fuck It Anyway

Posted September 10, 2017 by with 30 comments

jordanj1

In what might be Men.com’s most unrealistic gay porn scene of all time, Jordan Levine sees an ass sticking out of a closet, and because he can’t see the ass owner’s face, he thinks it’s his girlfriend bending over?

OK, sure.

jordanj2

As it happens, the ass belongs to Jeremy Spreadums, who is a man.

jordanj3

1. Unless Jordan Levine’s girlfriend is shaped liked a man and looks like a man from behind, how the hell is this even remotely possible?

2. Why would Jordan Levine’s girlfriend be wearing men’s underwear?

3. If you were straight, would you still fuck another man’s ass, if at first you thought it was a woman’s ass?

jordanj4

Once Jordan pulls Jeremy’s underwear all the way down, Jeremy’s taint, balls, and cock become visible, and, naturally, Jordan flips out by screaming, “What the fuck?!” and then, “Who the fuck are you?!”

jordanj5

Because a great ass is a great ass regardless of gender or sexuality, Jordan obviously proceeds to lick, eat, and fuck Jeremy’s ass (and even sucks his cock), regardless of the fact that Jordan is (was?) straight.

jordanj6jordanj7

Trailer (watch full scene here):

[Men.com: Jordan Levine Fucks Jeremy Spreadums]

  • cphotee

    I wonder who comes up with this shit? On second thought, I don’t think I want to know.

  • Jace

    That’s one butch wife he must have, then.

  • GrownFury
  • sxg

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7d7cfdf498c2cbcb4c0961eaec36395e4d14f22d307f4a065952a43b9f0eee88.gif
    As needy and chatty as bitches are, what kind of girlfriend doesn’t tell their boyfriend their gay friend is house sitting???

    Ah well, what a happy accident! Love these two performers and will thoroughly enjoy this scene!

  • Pinko of the Grange

    Is his “wife” on the East German Swim Team?

  • Scrapple

    So what we’re saying is Jeremy’s ass is strong enough for a man, but pH balanced for a woman.

    Being in half in the closet and getting fucked by a “straight” guy. Who hasn’t been there? Amirite?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/842ffea7e3c7da89db4aea8425356adf44e0c4fd0f229f802e9fe6bbeff6bc3e.gif

    I know I should be disgusted and outraged by this premise. But…Jordan Levine. My shallowness is winning out this time. And Jordi Le Whorege might want to reconsider his relationship status, because judging from that empty closet I’d say homegirl bounced with no intention of coming back.

  • Pertinax
  • theredviper

    On a positive note, this scene didn’t have the obligatory female that most MEN scenes seem to have.

  • S .

    Maybe his girlfriend was in the kitchen eating a salad.

  • Xzamilloh

    This premise feels hella condescending. Who would be stupid enough to actually believe this is plausible, unless your girlfriend is a bodybuilder?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b329c5de1f30c3bb4a96cced29c1edbfa7960c5dfb0eb0e99ab328a52aa71bdf.gif

  • robertdude

    I can’t take any scene seriuosly with a guy named “Spreadums” in it. Waiting for Billy Butterit and Charlie Chokeonit next…

    • James Johnson III

      Hey, with a former adult actor named after an appliance company (Haus Weston), Jeremy’s name doesn’t seem too far-fetched

      • Pinko of the Grange

        That is Westinghouse.

  • sxg
  • Not that anything about the scene makes any goddamn sense, but does Jordan’s character say he’s straight in the scene? Because otherwise, he could be bi or pan (or closeted), and I’m just going to keep saying this until we stop acting as if it’s crazy that someone could have a girlfriend and also be attracted to guys.

    • Pinko of the Grange

      I think most of it isn’t the girlfriend but the misidentification

    • Marik Ishtar

      The name of the series is called “Straight Series.”

  • Mark123

    “As it happens, the ass belongs to Jeremy Spreadums, who is a man.”
    **Glad you pointed that out, the genitals would never have given it away.

    Also, I was thinking, what if this is some kind of allegory for the gay sexual experience? Maybe the newbies at MEN are trying to test us. I mean, look at it this way – he’s cleaning out a “closet”. And like any cleaning job a surprise shows up that needs a little more effort, a surprise observation. So to clear everything out, he cleans the closet by getting rid of everything hidden in there, such as Jordan. Only then is his work fulfilled, while other things are being filled.

    Or maybe I’m just crazy to expect anyone at an adult film company to put that much thought into it.

    • McM.

      It ain’t that deep.

      • Pinko of the Grange

        but it was a realy good try.

    • Ed Woody

      **Or maybe I’m just crazy to expect anyone at an adult film company to put that much thought into it.**

      Actually there are two porn films that spring to mind that actually do have that much thought put into them.

      “Wrong Side of the Tracks” by C1R starred Johnny Hazzard as a trailer-trash boy who ran away to the city and met a Beverly Hills party boy. But the two characters are paralleled in that both are looking for ways out of their lives – it’s a story about having the balls to change your life.

      The other is “The Visitor” by RS, in which Logan McCree plays an alien who learns about humans by watching them on the computer screen of his spaceship and playing with sex toys. But again, the story is really about how sitting at home and watching porn on your computer is no substitute for real human connection.

      So it is not impossible for porn and intelligent scripting to go hand in hand. Rare, and I’m certainly not saying this scene here qualifies. But it happens.

    • Zealot

      Jordan likely borrows Ty Roderick’s little black book for dates.

  • Scrapple

    The girlfriend should’ve returned early and discovered the guys mid-fuck. “Right In Front Of My Closet?” would’ve been the perfect spinoff series.

  • Schnitzel
    • Scrapple

      I’m laughing because I used those same glasses as part of my Halloween costume last year.

  • Maximus
  • Hari Kalyan

    “Because a great ass is a great ass regardless of gender or sexuality”… and some men have so -called “women’s” bodies and vice versa. I’m always told I have a “girl’s” butt whatever that means.

  • PaulieP

    i’m just so curious as to what he would have dropped so deep into the closet…….