Here’s The X-Men Gay Porn Parody Trailer, And It Doesn’t Look Good

Posted May 24, 2016 by with 45 comments

xmenAfter their Star Wars and Batman Vs. Superman flops, no one was really expecting Men.com’s X-Men gay porn parody to be “good,” but based on the first trailer below, it might be even worse than expected.

xmen1Last year, Brenner Bolton told Str8UpGayPorn that Colby Keller was his “fantasy” scene partner, so why isn’t he hard while being fucked by him?

Even worse, the horrific, unflattering bright lighting and all-white set is not doing Colby Keller or Brenner Bolton any favors. And neither is their bad acting, but at least maybe that part was intentional.

xmen2This is a parody of a hugely popular franchise where the studio could have done anything they wanted to mix up the plot and have fun, but because it’s Men.com, of course both Colby and Brenner (who are openly gay performers) are playing “straight” guys fighting over a woman. So tired.

Maybe the full scene will be better than this trailer suggests, but don’t hold your breath. The first episode will be released here on Friday.

[Men.com: Colby Keller Fucks Brenner Bolton]

  • Arion
  • moondoggy
  • McM.

    It would have been easy to genderswap Jean, but that would mean presenting homosexual attraction as “normal”.

    http://www.geekxgirls.com/images/genderswappedheroes/genderswapped-rule-63-male-superheroes-03.jpg

    http://www.geekxgirls.com/images/genderswappedheroes/genderswapped-rule-63-male-superheroes-02.jpg

    The pictures are by the artist Joe Phillips ( http://www.geekxgirls.com/article.php?ID=4447 ), but I’ve also seen some nice cosplay.

    • sxg

      lol @ gay white queen! Or White Party Queen!

    • Xzamilloh

      Come on, Internet Rules 34 and 63!!!

    • Scrapple

      Lol. They really should’ve done the Jean thing. It already looks like they’re fucking in the White Hot Room.

  • jon

    I honestly think that at this point Men is trolling us. I honestly don’t think it’s possible to come up with such unsexy scenes, boring scenarios and waste good performers as they constantly have.

  • sxg

    That might be Colby Keller’s worst topping scene ever.

    The only thing I like about this is the gayness that goes on between Cyclops and Wolverine. These two butt heads on film, TV and comic books and I always thought it would be great if that tension between them turned into something gay lol. Sadly they failed to do a decent job capturing that.

    Men needs to stop doing these superhero parodies if they’re not going to include any sort of CGI or other special effects that show off their powers. Don’t try to make something look great when it isn’t. Take the route that the str8 superhero parody side does and make them more cheesy with more focus on making sure the sex is hot and less focus on the rest of the scene being perfect.

    • Hereweare

      Or the return of Matthew Rush.

      • sxg

        No thanks. I was glad to see Matthew Rush go I got tired of looking at his prego roid gut.

  • Silver64

    Guess Brenner is wearing those “Headphones” so he doesn’t need to concentrate on doing his scene…wonder what he’s listening to?

  • nick

    Mr Keller always looks good IMO

  • Pertinax

    Colby is in his prime. He’s more attractive now than he was when he starts a decade ago. I lost interest on him after reading his blog for a while, I got too much information and didn’t appreciate it when I became aware about him, about his life ( For me, a real turn off ). But the image still keeps all its allure. To be pared with him and be seeing as hot as Colby, is the proof that Brenner Bolton has that ( fucking ) porn star quality too.
    I liked the scenario. All bright and clear… It’s intended to be a lab…sci-fi… even with a low budget fountain ( It’s porn ).
    Even before Viviane Westwood, Colby was a ‘ muse ‘…

  • stephen

    no thx

    • Mike Julius

      A+ gif usage.

    • snoopyfo

      feature this comment… please

  • Todd
  • Xzamilloh
  • Xzamilloh

    This was the gay porn parody that no one everyone asked for. It was a paint by numbers preview that is lackluster in appearance and gives you everything you need to know about it, which is not what you want to do with a trailer a great trailer. I’m not gonna waste another second thinking about this insult to comic book fans bookmarking this. Horrible choice Great choice with the casting. Who can’t get enough of Colby Keller? I’m good

  • Trepakprince

    Congratulations to the commercialization of gay porn. The grand prize: lack luster performances and terrible sets.

  • Scrapple

    The couldn’t do a better job with Cyke’s visor? I know repurposed Beats headphones when I see them.

  • Casey Scott

    Um, when is Brenner Bolton ever hard when he’s getting fucked? It’s kind of his thing, though there are exceptions to the “rule”. His oral skills tend to be the best parts of his scenes, unless the director/editor has done a good job hiding his lack of an erection.

  • Denis-Adam Pompa

    Once upon a time MEN.COM was hot, now they ran out of ideas, these parody’s they kept making are awful. Thank goodness for Sean Cody who’s movies are so damn hot they put MEN.COM to shame.

  • C3xxx

    Through insider info a certain entity petitioned Men.com hard to be included in the all-white scene. It was refused.

    • Zealot

      ….and the persecution of white chairs goes on and on.

  • God of knowing…..

    you have jokes, nothing on men.com is good…. lets get that clear first…

  • Maximus

    “…so why isn’t he hard while being fucked by him?”

    Because Colby is wearing a condom?

    http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/mmhm.gif

    • Binary Busting Boo Boo Kitty

      because not all bottoms get hard and prefer to focus on the fucking instead of their hardons? that’s gay sex 101.

      really there are tons of reasons and that was just a poor attempt at stirring up drama by Zach.

  • Dale Bergman
  • Zealot

    Naked Justice sneers at these puny lady-boys!

    (except Colby Keller who he would TOTALLY fuck!)

  • OverKill

    What Wolverine thinks of this parody:
    https://m.popkey.co/334496/A6Nrv.gif

    Wolverine tells Deadpool he’s next to get a parody
    http://65.media.tumblr.com/0ccd706e7408ba404a410e5ea18ed76d/tumblr_inline_o1mvywZdog1t6wivs_540.gif

    • McM.

      Not gonna happen.

      Deadpool is pansexual and actually enjoys having sex with men. That alone takes him out of consideration as far as many studios are concerned.

      • L. T.

        No, what’s not going to happen is a Black Panther gay parody. LOL

  • sanfv

    Is this by Altersin? …maybe it’s time he goes the way of Nica Noelle. But he hasn’t dont anything particularly that evil other than these awful parodies right?

  • snoopyfo

    This looks fucking terrible, dont get me wrong, colby keller its fucking insanely hot!!! and brenner bolton is sexy too, but this doesnt say x-men at all!!!!, im sure if 2 x-men actually fuck they wouldn’t fuck in a stupid ass laboratory WTF?! besides everything is just wrong
    i love colby and he is great, sexy, hot, etc but he is not wolverine doesn’t even look like him at all, wolverine is suppose to be 5’3″, black hair and blue eyes and colby is kindalike the opposite lol
    Studios should stay away from our nerdy fantasies!! at least men, they should just quit it

  • kkdd1

    When was the last time 2 guys fucked each other after fighting over a woman ?

  • darkdexter

    it show a horrible sense since I saw the casting

  • GN

    I know I am baked right now but that metallic cheese grater on his face was totally distracting.

  • Badbike

    I can’t wait for Landon Mycles to show up in his scene in laughably bad silver makeup as Colossus lol

  • n24rc

    The problem is Bolton’s ass hasn’t had a days rest since starting in gay porn. He’s a nympho and probably needed to not cum for several days before the shoot.

  • KP

    A straight company already did this “parody” with much bigger dicks and no condoms.

  • Cosmic

    Ouch…

  • nick

    Actually, I think Brazzers might have done a slightly better job of this.

  • goosegui