WATCH: Joey Mills Drinks Fake Cum From Chuck Conrad In Men.com’s “The Cum Burglar”
Another gay-for-pay Canadian top in need of fake cum? Sadly, yes. It’s more of the same from Men.com today.
We saw the preview for this scene last week, and while I had high hopes (you’d think after doing this for 10+ years, I wouldn’t be such a naïve fool?) for big-dicked and bearded muscle top Chuck Conrad, the final minutes of his gay porn debut are a major disappointment. Before the lackluster finale, there is thankfully some good fucking, thanks to powerbottom Joey Mills.
After doing a decent job with Joey Mills in multiple positions—including an excellent upside down position in which Joey Mills cums inside of his own mouth—Chuck Conrad pretends to cum while haphazardly flinging a dollop of Men.com’s infamous lotion all over Joey’s face.
In addition to the fake cum being flung around from the tip of his limp dick, note that Chucky isn’t even remotely erect. Nothing says “quality gay porn” like a faux ejaculating cock that’s fully soft.
I love that Men.com couldn’t be bothered to ask him to get even a little bit hard, so this might look at least a little bit realistic. In fairness, they’d probably already been filming for hours, and there was no way they were going to wait around for him to try and a get a boner. Although, why wasn’t one of Men.com’s female extras on hand to serve as a fluffer?
The phony jizz is all the more upsetting given that superstar Joey Mills is Chuck Conrad’s first bottom, and the gay-for-payer still couldn’t bust a nut? If anyone can make a straight man cum, it’s Joey fucking Mills!
Finally, how sad is it that this scene is all about Joey’s desire for Chuck’s cum—it’s called “The Cum Burglar“—and yet, the cum that Joey ends up burgling is fake.
Oh well. Malik Delgaty used to shoot fake cum all the time when he first started, and he’s since made major improvements. Then again, at least Malik had a pretty face, which made his fraudulent orgasms forgivable. Maybe Chuck Conrad will learn how to be a porn star in his next scene. After all, this is Men.com, where people aren’t expected to actually perform in their first scene (or their second scene, third scene, fourth scene, fifth scene…). Trailer (watch full scene here):
