Hell On Earth: Jay Z Will Be The 2027 Super Bowl Halftime Performer

Posted October 26, 2026 by with 0 comments

I don’t watch anything to do with football, and that includes the Super Bowl halftime show, but for those who do watch, I would think that this has to be the most boring and disappointing news ever? Jay Z is the performer at next year’s Super Bowl, via Apple Music:

I know he’s been featured on other artists’ songs (e.g., Rihanna’s “Umbrella”), but I can’t name a single Jay Z song where it’s just him or where he’s the lead artist, and I doubt you can name one either, so this will obviously be the least watched halftime ever. Other than bringing out his wife, what could he do or “sing” that would be remotely interesting? Jay Z’s Roc Nation has been the producer of the halftime show for several years, so the fact that he literally picked himself to be the performer makes the whole thing totally humiliating. The rumor is that they couldn’t find anyone else to do it, and given the gig offers little to no reward (other than right-wing psychopaths attacking you, like they did to Bad Bunny last time), I don’t blame anyone for turning it down.

I was thinking about the few halftime shows I’ve watched over the years, and while Madonna’s was obviously the best, I think Katy Perry’s has to have been the absolute worst. Not just the worst halftime show ever, but probably one of the top 10 tackiest, most tired, and most soulless live entertainment productions I’ve ever seen in my life:

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