Brutally Honest 2023 Oscars Ballot: Everything Everywhere A “Nonsensical And Convoluted Stoner Movie”

Posted March 11, 2023 by with 8 comments

While I hate/love these annual anonymous Oscar voters revealing their choices, I rarely agree with any of their awful picks. This one published on The Hollywood Reporter from some asshole in the producer’s branch is no exception. Although, I completely agree with his take on the simplistic and sophomoric wanna-be comic book action-family-dramedy about butt plugs and lesbian hot dog fingers, Everything Everywhere All At Once:

I hated the one that’s going to win, Everything Everywhere All at Once. I’ve had many friends say “It’s a stoner movie!” Well, I’m a stoner, and I couldn’t enjoy it. I had to start it four times; the fourth time, I finally made it through the whole thing. It’s just so nonsensical and convoluted. I heard somebody in an interview call it “a lesbian Fantasia” — where the fuck does that come from? There was only one thing I enjoyed in the movie, and that was Jamie Lee Curtis. Tár was over-amped and rang untrue to me; I don’t believe that directors of orchestras are chartering private jets to fly back and forth like that. It was like a female version of No Country for Old Men — the whole movie made me feel miserable. I wasn’t into the first Avatar, and I wasn’t into this one [Avatar: The Way of Water]. Women Talking? God damn. It should have just been a play. I couldn’t get into it. It felt like homework. The third act of The Banshees of Inisherin lost me. I liked The Fabelmans — she [Michelle Williams’ character] reminded me of my mother. I really enjoyed Top Gun [Maverick] — it was entertaining, it was big, and it was exactly what I expected. Triangle of Sadness was great — I loved the first 90 percent of it, but I have to admit I was getting a little bored by the end. All Quiet on the Western Front was one of the most powerful antiwar movies I’ve ever seen. But Elvis was my favorite — I saw it twice.


He ended up voting for Elvis, which of course won’t win. His full ballot is here, but none of his acting picks will win either, except for maybe Austin Butler.

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