California Could Elect Republican Governor Thanks To Jungle Primary

Posted March 24, 2026 by with 7 comments

For those who don’t know, California’s Top Two Candidates Open Primary Act (also known as the “jungle primary”) means that all candidates for voter-nominated offices are listed on one primary ballot, and only the top two vote-getters—regardless of party preference—move on to the general election. A new poll for our upcoming gubernatorial primary election in June came out yesterday, and the top two vote-getters are…surprise…Republicans:

(R) Steve Hilton: 16%

(R) Chad Bianco: 14%

(D) Katie Porter: 10%

(D) Tom Steyer: 10%

(D) Eric Swalwell: 10%

(D) A. Villaraigosa: 3%

(D) Xavier Becerra: 3%

(D) Matt Mahan: 3%

(D) Betty Yee: 2%

(D) T. Thurmond: 1%

Undecided/Other: 26%

Doing the math, Hilton and Bianco have 30% of the vote, while all the Dems have 42%. Most of the undecideds are obviously going to be Democrat voters, given this is a deep blue state, but unless a majority of those Dems all go to only one of the top three (Porter, Steyer, or Swalwell), Hilton and Bianco could still be the top two. Insane, yet hilarious. News via CBS LA:

If Newsom could kindly take a fucking break from running for president (and making a fool of himself over the terrorist state of Israel) and simply endorsed someone (as long as it’s not creepy billionaire old man Steyer), all of the infighting and drama would be over. He’s got about a month left before it’ll be too late.

But, if Newsom doesn’t endorse, which Rebarflican will it be? The closet case looney tunes “she’s the sheriff” MAGA moron from shithole Riverside? Or, the Mr. Peanut crackpot dipshit Brit who hilariously destroyed the conservative party in the UK before taking refuge at Faux News? One of these two stunt queens will be the next governor unless two of the three stooges (Steyer/Porter/Swalwell) rock/paper/scissor their asses out of this shitshow. And the funny thing is, all the Dems are as worthless as sloppy Steve and sweetie Chad! Either way, as usual, we the voters are the ones who lose.

If you’re not in California and don’t know how truly awful Miss Chad and Dildo Face Steve are, here are two interviews:

Note: I just paid my income taxes, and my state taxes in California are lower than they’ve ever been. Also, our property taxes here are barely 1%, making us among the lowest in the nation. All the talk about California “high taxes” is complete and utter nonsense.

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