Donald J. Trump Has “Decisive” Victory In Iowa…With Just 7% Of The State’s Republicans Supporting Him?

Posted January 16, 2024 by with 11 comments

Barely 100,000 Republican presidential primary votes were cast in the shithole white trash evangelical redneck inbred hellhole otherwise known as “Iowa” last night, and while teevee news robots were breathlessly reporting that Donald Trump’s win was a resounding and record-breaking victory against Pudding Fingers and Nimarata, it’s important to remember that there are nearly 2.2 million registered voters in Iowa, and about 750,000 of them are registered Republicans who can vote in the caucuses. So, only 100,000 out of 750,000 voted, and doing the math, the bigger story to me is that just 13% of eligible voters showed up and voted for their preferred right-wing dipshit. Thirteen fucking percent. The average voter turnout in the 2016 primaries (the last time Trump was competing against other Republicans) was about 30%. Even more embarrassing: Last night, Trump received a paltry 56,000 votes. 56,000 out of 750,000 is 7%. This means that only 7% of Iowa’s Republican voters bothered to give a shit about their wilted orange jesus. Humiliating.

Because this is a truly fucking psychotic country with an undemocratic/meaningless primary system and profit-driven news organizations desperate for ratings while looking for any kind of hyperbolic narrative to foist upon their zombie viewers (as you can see in the clip above), we’re now going to be hearing about Trump’s “historic” wins for the next three months, programming his name and his face and his speeches into whatever is left of the worms in people’s brains. Make no mistake: The media want Trump to win even more than most Republican voters! His putrid face and demonic KKK voice is sadly the kind of horror show that still brings in viewers, especially if the alternative is having to look at a catatonic Joe Biden through January of…2029(!?).

The reality is, Trump is a soon-to-be convicted thug who couldn’t even get a double-digit percentage share of eligible Republicans to support him last night. Yes, primaries are completely different than the general election in November, but I think this is a good sign for Democrats. Republicans just don’t give a fuck about Trump anymore, and I believe many of them will stay home in November. Of course, so will many Democrats if their choice is Joe Biden, but that’s another issue…