Gay Porn Blind Items: Pumpkin Spice Edition!
When you think of the fall season, you only think of one thing: Gay Porn Blind Items—Pumpkin Spice Edition! It only comes around once per year, so get into it! We’re spilling tea (and lattes) and throwing shade, but don’t worry, henny, we’re not naming names (yet!)!
Think you have an answer to any of these gay porn blind items? Call them out in the comments, queen!
*Item: This gay porn star is no stranger to putting on a show, but when he “over-indulged” in certain illegal substances at the recent Hustlaball NYC, he nearly gave the performance of his life—literally! The fetishy kinkster nearly passed out and had to be held up/carried away by several friends, including one of the event’s organizers.
*Item: This once-legendary gay porn star has been trying to mount a comeback all year long, but can’t seem to find anything that audiences respond to, and he’s getting increasingly desperate. How desperate? For his next scene, he’s asked to be paired with a FEMALE porn star! He’s a bottom who loves getting fucked with strap-ons, and most of his fans are women, so it might work?
*Item: You’ve seen corporate sponsors in gay porn scenes before (hook-up apps, lube, toys/dildos, underwear, etc.) but one gay porn studio is ready to take it to the next level by using Truvada® in an upcoming bareback orgy scene! Drug manufacturer Gilead is said to be “intrigued” by the idea, but wants final approval on product placement and casting.
*Item: This gay porn newcomer is so desperate for attention on social media, he’s set up dozens of fake accounts to RT his own selfies, favorite his own tweets, and even hurl anti-gay insults at himself, which he re-tweets to his own followers in order to gain sympathy!
*Item: Which longtime gay porn “powercouple” is actually a total sham? The two stars couldn’t lead more disparate lives (one is actually bisexual and raising a young daughter, the other is secretly engaged to a gay porn studio head), and during their most recent scene together, a stunt bottom was used when the terrible twosome couldn’t agree on who would be getting fucked.
*Item: This gay porn star is so desperate to receive the expensive items from his Amazon Wish List, he’s started a GoFundMe page, where he hopes enough smaller donations will eventually come in that will in turn allow him to purchase his Amazon Wish List items himself! Not Ryan Rose or Leo Sweetwood.
*Item: Once this gay porn star vlogger finally got the memo that his YouTube videos were putting people to sleep, he tried to set up collaboration videos with Davey Wavey, Tyler Oakley, and even Lohanthony—but they all turned him down. As a last resort, he turned to Chris Crocker, but even she said “Girl, bye!”
*Item: This anonymous gay porn blogger leads a double life as a successful professional in a non-porn job, but are his days finally numbered? I’m told he’s so terrified of being “exposed” and having his mainstream career ruined, he’s considering deleting all of his porn blog entries and permanently shutting down the entire highly-trafficked website in an attempt to scrub the internet of his XXX persona!
*Item: Which gay porn studio is so strapped for cash, they’ve had to resort to paying models in condoms, expired Trimix, membership gift cards to the studio’s paysites, designer sneakers, and HIV home testing kits?
*Item: This gay porn studio is so desperate for relevance, they’re currently in pre-production on a gay porn parody of the Ebola outbreak in West Africa! Their tacky spin on the deadly virus: After being potentially exposed to Ebola at the Cybersocket Awards, 14 gay porn stars are placed under quarantine in a “Sketchy Sex”-style house. Bareback sex, projectile vomiting, high fevers, and mass infection ensues. But is it really Ebola, or is it just syphilis?
