Is Bryan Hawn Naked A Better Singer Than Steve Grand Naked?

Posted April 14, 2016 by with 49 comments

bryan hawn steve grandNude narcissist and gay YouTubelebrity Bryan Hawn has just released an original song (with accompanying video below) called “What Do You Know” and, what do you know, he actually has an OK voice:

Compare Bryan Hawn’s non-offensive, restrained, and totally fine vocals (which would work well on Broadway, or a reality singing show, at least) to the screeching, whiny, and totally trying-too-hard vocals of fellow nude (and white!) narcissist Steve Grand and it becomes crystal clear: Bryan Hawn is a better singer than Steve Grand. (Also, Bryan Hawn doesn’t pretend to be offended when people objectify him for his naked body, which makes him a better naked person than Steve Grand, too).

Are you #TeamBryan or #TeamSteve?

  • jimboivyo


  • Jordy

    Bryan Hawn looks like the powerbottom version of Andy Samberg.

    • Two Cents

      That is so not fair especially since I have a recurring fantasy of Terry Cruise bending him over and ramming him hard. Oh BTW, Im Terry Cruise. I wanna kiss Andy more than anything. Those lips.

  • Justin Trenton

    Bryan Hawn needs to atleast do a solo. He won’t though. He’s likely making more money on YouTube than he ever would doing porn.

  • sxg

    Probably better to compare their voices on equal terms. The Bryan Hawn video could just be another lip-syncing video with someone else’s voice, or his voice could have been heavily filtered or even autotuned.

    Here’s a better video
    I think Bryan has a slight edge on voice quality than Steve. as far as marketability though, Steve would fair better in the music industry than Bryan, especially with Bryan’s clear character oddities.

    • jimboivyo

      perhaps a better video but a clueless gay none-the-less. I don’t know what’s worse. Yes I do. Clueless gays who receive an academy award for their work without knowing their own gay history will always be a FAIL AND PASS in my musical playlist.

      • sxg

        Oh god that shit song and asshole SO did not deserve to win the award! If there’s any indication how out of touch the Oscar voters are, it’s there. Giving the best song to a song that was about fucking nothing to a song that spoke about something so deep and moving that hearing it live brings tears to your eyes is one of the biggest mistakes in Oscar history and I dearly hope Sam Smith’s career suffers from it!

        • jimboivyo

          you’re obviously missing my point. You can argue about the horrible song v. better song all you want. But you can’t argue artist ignorance when he claimed being the first gay man winning an academy award. JFC! If I didn’t have better things to do, I’d paste those moments here.

          • sxg

            My comments were on top of everything you just said instead of me repeating it. Yes I too was frustrated at what he said on his acceptance speech and how he explained himself afterwards. Completely awful.

          • jimboivyo

            thanks for letting me know you’re a bottom after the fact. :-)

      • WhimsyCotton

        Oh get over it. The kid is 23. He was obviously freaking out and said whatever sounded good. Anyone could have forgotten about Dustin Lance Black’s win at a moment like that – especially with Chris Rock’s annoying ass harping in the background.

  • Call 1-800-SNATCH’T
  • Elitist

    I’m sure David Geffen would love to sign both of them, and I bet he’d only ask for a few small favours in return

  • Trepakprince

    I vote for the asteroid that would do us the favor of taking the both out alongside us for giving them attention.

  • paultacoma51

    I have to give Steve Grand the slight edge. My only thing with him is he tends to over-sing, so I find many of his songs to be over the top. He recently did a duet with Eli Lieb, a nice ballad and he really sounded great. I think that should be his thing instead of the cabaret/Broadway style he has now.

  • sanfv

    I would rather watch Billy Prolapse’s leaked and loaded video once more and die than listen and watch these clowns.

    Where is a pack of hyenas when you need them?

  • Pertinax

    No comments. Sorry…Busy today.

  • Dumbledore

    Alright, there is only one way to settle this…a Bryan Hawn/Steve Grand naked singing competition!

    • AussieB

      Logo presents Gay Naked Idol

  • Scrapple

    I’d say they both have good voices, with Bryan probably having more control over his range. But they both have affectations that take away from their vocals. Steve really needs to learn how to enunciate. Nobody is going to care what notes you can (or can’t) hit when it sounds like you were given elocution lessons from Mushmouth.

  • I’ll take Bryan any day over Steve. At least Bryan owns up to using his hot body to get hits while Steve is like “look at my hot body” so he can get some clicks, sell some music, etc. Then afterwards, Steve is “you should be ashamed for looking at my hot body”.

  • Todd

    As singers, they both make great naked models.

  • Dale Bergman

    Could these two be anymore in love with themselves?

  • Xzamilloh
  • kevin

    As singers, both of their styles are too effusive to be taken seriously. Grand is less grating.

  • Maximus

    I’m not entirely qualified to answer that question, so allow me to channel the spirit of Amy Winehouse from beyond the grave.

    Non loqueris! Amy Winehouse, hoc est quod temere ingressus stercore telam interpres!

    Alright, I think I’m getting something… Yes, she’s communicating! Ms. Winehouse, who is the better singer, Bryan Hawn or Steve Grand?… Okay, here’s her response:

  • terrencemoss

    He sang “New York State of Mind” at Musical Mondays in LA and he has a great voice live and in person as well.

  • RBLover

    It’s bad enough that you gave these two a platform…why did you have to drag down Broadway with it? (“non-offensive, restrained, totally fine vocals….would work well on Broadway or a reality show”). You clearly have not been to a Broadway show in a long time! So insulted!

  • Bruser

    They both owe their so-called “careers” to photoshop and autotune. Meh.

    • kkdd1

      They both owe their so called careers 2 their ASSES LOL !

  • WhimsyCotton

    Bryan Hawn may be a little loose in the head, but he does have a slightly better voice and a clearly better ass. He wins this round. And Zach, don’t front, are you subscribed to Bryan Hawn’s channel now?

  • JohnnyVooDoo

    Ohhh meh. This dude needs to stick to back arching Tumblr post cus once you actually see it in motion it cant really compare to the many pictures he takes and cheery picks from. He has been doing the same act for a while now and its boring. In a video that ass should only be seen in a thong — anything else and it comes off looking moderately average — for a guy for a guy of his ethnicity and body type.

  • rhinoHI

    I’m usually opposed to men’s comestics, but Miss Hawn needs some under-eye concealer or something. He always looks sleep-deprived and malnourished.

  • Zealot

    My ears say “NO, NO!” but by wiener says “JA!, JA!”. BTW, anyone know if Fort Troff has a sale on ball gags this month?

  • Scott Rose

    These guys are both handsome and obviously work hard on their bodies. Both are meh singers.

  • a b

    The first thing I remember when I read this post is a scene from “Requiem for a Dream”: the famous Butt to butt

  • kkdd1

    Zach U said better than I ever could FUCK U 4 posting about either of them !!!

  • Marcus Collack

    I have to play devil’s advocate here, there’s a lot of talk about these guys being narcissistic. Really!?! If it weren’t for people like them, would this blog or the commentators exist. I mean let’s keep it real, most of what we do is look at naked dudes who look a certain way, because as the world has said there is value in looking that certain way, and it warrants attention (Looks around at the comments) obviously. It reminds me of those people who look down on strippers while they are at the strip club getting a lap dance.

  • Magic Mike

    steve is a better vocalist. bryan may be the worst lip syncher ive ever seen. his face is void of all expression and emotion.

  • The Porn Emperor

    No. Steve Grand’s voice and technique is much more polished and professional, although more high-pitched. Hawn’s voice is OK, but his singing is all over the place. Plus, he looks RIDICULOUS singing a love ballad in his speedos.

  • H8ful8

    DUH! Bryan Hawn has already been on a singing reality show, Do Ya Homework! No wonder he has to show his ass off…he sucks so much he had to go to another country.

  • Xavier

    I wouldn’t pay to listen to either one of them….. with that being said Steve’s voice was easier for me to tolerate. Bryan’s was way too shaky and forced… but again, I would still never listen to with either one on my spare time.

  • ZachSireSucks

    Zach Sires “You’ve been banned before because you’re abusive, disruptive, and never offer anything but shrill insults and profanity in quite literally every single one of your repetitive comments. Looks like you got a new IP, but you’re banned again” . – Isn’t what this BLOG is all about though? Hypocrite! Everyone else speaks their thoughts on your so called “No Censors” site..yet you censor. “Five years ago, I took a job as a journalist in the gay porn industry” THIS IS JOURNALISM?

    Again! He has already been on a reality singing show. Ya can ban me and take down my posts but ya can;t fix your own friggin mistakes?

  • Bryan Hawn

    OMG This is hilarous. I love all the comments. Keep em coming :)