Is This The Ugliest Couch In The History Of Gay Porn?

Posted January 14, 2014 by with 8 comments

worked-over-leo-deomenic-bentley-2I’ve seen a lot of ugly couches in gay porn, but none quite as grotesquely and horrifyingly ugly as the one prominently (and nauseatingly) featured in today’s TitanMen update. There are two hot men fucking on it, but how can you even tell?

worked-over-leo-deomenic-bentley-1The color is drab, the pattern is dizzying, and the quantity of pillows is ridiculous. No. Just no. If you’re trying to sell people gay porn, sell them gay porn! Not whatever this is.

STILL, this TitanMen couch might not even be the worst gay porn couch of all time.

dominic-ford-shane-frost-fucks-trey-turner-017Who could forget Dominic Ford’s tacky white futon (which was used 80 million times between 2010 and 2013)?

9522_023And no one can possibly forget Cody Cummings and his garish “red chair,” which was also used 10 zillion times on every one of the NextDoorStudios sites.
redHopefully they had it steam cleaned?

sccouch2Or how about that cream colored Sean Cody sectional (imagine all the dried cum between the cushions)?

42501_04Oh God, not that turquoise disaster from Falcon!

11Remember when CocksureMen was serving Pepto Bismol realness?

cocksureAnd what about that sketchy black leather sectional, which looks like something Buffalo Bill might ask you to help push into the back of a van?

colleThe only thing worse than CollegeDudes’s green(?) sofa is the Photoshop that makes the models look like they just spent 2013 living inside of a tanning bed.

Which couch is the absolute ugliest couch in all of gay porn?

couches


  • sxg

    Ok so you pretty much named every couch in existence lol. So show us pictures of an un-ugly couch that you deem worthy of guys having sex on. Personally I like the white futon that Trey Turner is on, because it really shows off his beautifully colored skin on there.

  • JoePorn

    Hold the phones, Titan is still in business?

    • Dean

      LOL xD

  • Dutch Courage

    In my book “How To Film Hot Gay Porn” I wrote a section on furniture. Some tips I gave:
    — never use a leather couch because they make irritating noises (especially noticeable when the sex is lame which is usually the case)
    — never use a couch with weird prints because they are distracting. Use a couch with one clear colour. The bleached look only looks good in Coutry Life magazine and not in gay porn. Never use turquoise because that is not a colour but a state of mind.
    — Always clean a couch immediately after the scene. Cum stains are an acquired taste and always look tatty.
    — Use a couch that is big enough. Novices to filming gay porn who are tempted to buy Ikea’s Klippan couch: DON’T because it is far too small (unless you’re a studio that only uses small skinny twinks).
    — don’t use a soft couch because the action might disappear from view (for some studios this might not be a bad thing)
    — don’t be afraid to spend some money on a good couch. Most of the time you get more pleasure out of it than of the models you hire.

  • Zoompietro

    I kinda like that black one but maybe I shouldn’t admit that after reading the Buffalo Bill comment.

  • Aramis

    Cheap and tacky furniture are inviting. People can use them without afraid of spoil them. I liked Titan’s porn couch ( color. patter, size and the quantity of pillows…LOL ). I’m not a decorating queen but I think it’s a matter of find a proper place – a place that matches – to them so I can see the red chair and the pink couch in Vegas ( or Graceland… ) and the turquoise couch in Fort Lauderdale or Palm Springs. The others are ok for me… None of them deserve to be in a scat scene. ( BTW: What’s a ‘futon’ ? )

  • GN

    I personally could not care less about the set decor in porn (it’s porn, for God’s sake) but my question is, how well do they clean those sets/couches after sex scenes? Particularly studios like SeanCody, who almost always use the same set pieces. Cum stains are not that easy to clean out of fabrics. Especially not hundreds of them!

  • WW

    It’s not as if I’m expecting guys to cavort on stuff right out of Architectural Digest, but wow, that Titan thing is the worst. On the other hand, it will be spot on (pun definitely intended) when Randy Blue does a cock-u-drama based on The Partridge Family.