First of all, what is the point of a cardboard penis? At least send a chocolate penis, or some of that penis pasta, or maybe a cake shaped like a penis, or an actual dildo. What is someone supposed to do with a giant piece of fucking cardboard? Via Yahoo:
Earlier this year, while a high school choir teacher was fighting to get his old job back, his friend mailed two lewd packages to the St. Anthony-New Brighton superintendent, according to a criminal complaint filed last month in Hennepin County District Court.
(Criminal complaint? For sending someone cardboard??)
The first package, containing a large cardboard penis, was delivered to Superintendent Renee Corneille’s office on Feb. 8. A second package arriving March 2 held a bag of small cardboard penises and a vulgar note telling Corneille to “choke on” the contents.
(OK, “choking on dicks” is a colloquialism that’s clearly meant as a joke, but I guess being in charge of a school, the superintendent had to take the proper precautions and contact authorities.)
Corneille “became concerned for the safety of the children and staff” and contacted police, according to the complaint.
A month later, while police were working to identify the sender, Corneille suggested a possible suspect: Michael Shafer, the choir teacher who Corneille had fired in 2020 but was reinstated by an arbitrator, according to the complaint.
At the time the packages were sent, Shafer was awaiting a judge’s ruling over whether the district could reassign him at his same rate of pay or had to return him to the music room. He lost that case on March 15 and remains on “special assignment.”
However, an investigator learned the company uses a third-party shipper, Shopify, which did comply with a search warrant. In late April, Shopify told police the customer who had the packages sent was Alicia Ann Little, a 30-year-old Minneapolis woman who is Facebook friends with Shafer.
Little admitted to police that she sent the packages, saying at first that she saw Corneille on the news and was mad at her for the way she treats her employees, according to the complaint.
The woman has been charged with one misdemeanor count of harassment.