MAGAts, Proud Boys, Racists, And Psychopaths Set To Take Over Country On America’s Final Election Day
Welcome to the series finale of America! She had a nice run. Actually, she had a deplorable and deadly run thanks to nearly 250 years of slavery, illegal wars, murder, and theft as the most evil and corrupt nation on earth, and after today’s election, America and American “democracy” (whatever was left of it) will come to a close. Dozens of election-denying MAGAts are set to win their local, state, and federal races today, and in the coming months, these fascists will be blocking and/or usurping Americans’ right to vote in upcoming elections (if there will even be anymore elections after today). In 2024, say goodbye to mail-in voting and ballot drop boxes, and say hello to machine gun-wielding Proud Boys at your polling place, where your vote won’t even be counted if you’re a registered Democrat. It’s perhaps a fitting end to this shithole country, so for old time’s sake, please get out and vote on this final legitimate election day, and stay tuned to this post all day long for results in key races as the QAnon GOP psychopaths take over the Senate, the House, and the entire country. Enjoy!
Results as they come in:
With Nevada, Georgia, and Arizona still undecided, control of the U.S. Senate is still up for grabs. Final numbers for NV and AZ probably won’t be in for at least another 24 hours, and it’s looking like a runoff in GA. If the Dems retain NV and AZ, they don’t even need to hold onto GA. For the Reps to take control, they need to flip all three states.
New Hampshire: There had been some speculation that this one could go either way, but incumbent Democrat Maggie Hassan has thankfully won her race and will hold her seat in the U.S. Senate.
Ohio: MAGA dipshit J.D. Vance has won election to the U.S. Senate, defeating longtime Dem congressman Tim Ryan. Ohio is a red state, but I had some hope that Ryan could’ve pulled out a win. This seat is currently held by retiring Republican Rob Portman, so it’s a not pickup for the GOP, at least.
North Carolina: Trump-endorsed Republican Ted Budd wins his Senate race against former chief justice of the North Carolina Supreme Court Cheri Beasley. Like Ohio, this is a red state and the seat is being vacated by a retiring Republican, but Beasley ran a strong race and came within 4 points of beating Budd.
MAJOR CALL: NBC News projects Lt. Gov John Fetterman (D) has defeated Dr. Mehmet Oz (R) in the Pennsylvania Senate race.
This is a significant win for Democrats and the first Senate flip of the night. pic.twitter.com/Ox59LKRIqN
— The Recount (@therecount) November 9, 2022
Pennsylvania: Major news, as Democrat John Fetterman has been declared the winner, defeating horrifying New Jersey carpetbagger and TV “doctor” Mehmet Oz. This is a pickup for the Dems (the seat is open due to a retiring Republican), so they could now lose one of the remaining uncalled incumbent races in GA, NV, or AZ and still have control of the Senate.
Wisconsin: Democrat Mandela Barnes came close, but Ron Johnson, the batshit insane Trumper who said COVID vaccines cause AIDS, will retain his seat in WI.
Georgia: Undecided. It’s unfathomable that two people, let alone two million people, would be stupid enough to actually vote for a brain damaged sociopath and pathological liar who literally can’t speak in complete sentences, but that’s what has happened in Georgia and candidate Herschel Walker, who currently has over 1.9 million votes. Because it doesn’t look like Walker or incumbent Raphael Warnock (who also has 49% and over 1.9 million votes) will cross the 50%, this race is going to a runoff election next month.
Nevada: Undecided
Arizona: Undecided
—While it appears the Republicans will take control of the House, the “red wave” predictions (not to mention my own headline and hyperbolic meltdown above) were way off, thankfully. The GOP needs 218 seats to take back the House, and while they had boasted about clearing over 250, it looks like they’ll barely make 220. Click the link above for the most current numbers.
—Not surprisingly, MAGA moron Marjorie Taylor Greene won reelection in Georgia. If (when) the GOP takes the House, expect to see Greene heavily involved in Joe Biden’s impeachment.
—Democrat Maura Healey has become the first openly lesbian woman to win the governor’s race in Massachusetts. I love when the media say that someone is the first “openly” gay/lesbian to win something, implying that someone who held the position before was probably a closet case.
—Perpetual loser Beto O’Rourke has lost as a Presidential candidate, a Senate candidate, and now as a Governor candidate, with grotesque pig Greg Abbott predictably winning his third term in Texas. There are no term limits for the Texas governorship, meaning Abbott can stay in power until the day he drops dead (which would ideally be ASAP).
—Another perpetual loser is Stacy Abrams (why do the Dems love losing so much?), and for the second time, she’s lost her race to become governor of Georgia. Kemp easily defeated her yet again.
—Worthless Republican turned worthless centrist Charlie Crist changed parties so he could try and defeat Ron DeSantis, and he failed miserably, of course. DeSantis will run the toxic swamp otherwise known as “Florida” for at least the next two years, until he’s elected as the 47th President of the United States in 2024. Fun side note: Miami-Dade county turned red this election, making DeathSantis the first GOP governor to win that county in two decades.
—Some good news and a sign of relief from Pennsylvania: Democrat Josh Shapiro has won the governor’s race. He was facing a deranged election-denier and Trump stooge who was actually at the insurrection on January 6th. In Pennsylvania, the governor appoints the Secretary of State (known there as Secretary of the Commonwealth), so at least votes won’t be manipulated there in the 2024 election.
