Naked Men Arrested For Machete Attack, Nude Gas Station Ice Bath
We have a Naked Man twofer!
First, a naked Pennsylvania man (above, left) was arrested for taking off his clothes, hopping into a freezer outside a gas station, and then bathing in all the bags of ice inside said freezer. Via ABC13:
A Pennsylvania man is facing charges after he stripped off his clothes and took an ice bath inside a gas station freezer, police said. On Sept. 29, around 2:30 p.m., police were called to a convenience store at a gas station in Ephrata Township. Jonathan Beck, 35, allegedly stripped down naked while pumping gas. After removing his clothes and exposing himself to other patrons, Beck got inside of the bagged ice freezer outside of the store, police said.
[ABC13]
Maybe he was hot? Or, maybe he was drunk and high. (He was also charged with public drunkenness and marijuana possession.)
Next, it’s not the kind of naked man we like to see: A naked man (above, right) with a machete, a cowboy hat, and painted nails who was looking for a crack pipe, as machete-wielding naked men with painted nails and cowboy hats are wont to do. Via Local10 in Florida (of course):
A South Florida man is facing three felony charges after police accused him of attacking a woman with a machete because she didn’t have a crack pipe.
Miami-Dade police arrested 45-year-old Roberto Hercules in Hialeah Friday.
According to an arrest report, Hercules was “completely naked,” wearing nothing but painted nails and a cowboy hat when he attacked the victim at Northwest 74th Street and South River Drive in Medley last Tuesday.
Police said the woman was riding her bicycle in the area when Hercules asked her for the pipe. Officers wrote that the attack began after she told him she didn’t have a pipe.
The woman jumped off her bicycle while Hercules chased after her and “continued to strike her with the machete” on the head and left arm, police said.
The woman suffered extensive injuries, including a fractured skull, a “small brain bleed,” a broken arm and a large laceration on her left hand.
[Local10]
Jesus fucking Christ.
The woman is in stable condition, while Hercules has been charged with attempted murder.
