Texas Man In Kilt Arrested For Shoving Antique Merchandise Up His Asshole

Posted February 19, 2024 by with 7 comments

You have to wonder, what’s the f*cking point of doing this? His need to explore a sick fetish was apparently so strong, he was willing to go to jail for it. Via The Smoking Gun:

Mitchell Cooper Vest is 6’ 6” tall, weighs 250 pounds, and is known to wear a kilt.

Which made it easier for Texas business owners to identify Vest, 60, as the man who recently came into their antique stores and shoved various items up his rectum before placing them “back on the shelf for display,” according to Texas court records.

Specifically, cops say, Vest first entered the “Antique Gallery of Houston” and placed a makeup brush and a “Restoration Hardware piece” in his anus before returning the merchandise, valued at $130, to the shelf.

Vest then showed up at “The Curiosity Shop,” which is located inside an antiques mall. The shop’s owner, Alisha Osborne, told police that Vest took an antique bottle opener and a “Tobacco Tent Can” (total value: $74) and “placed them into his anus under his green skirt/kilt, then returned the items to the shelf.”


Most of the items had to be thrown away due to the fact that they became covered in feces. More details at the link, including his mug shot and the police report listing the items he put up his ass.

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