Tom Cruise Jumps From Stadium Roof To Close Out The Olympics

Posted August 12, 2024 by with 8 comments

Thank goodness they’re finally over, although because I live relatively close to Los Angeles, I’ll probably have to hear about the Olympics all the time leading up to 2028, when they come to L.A. Given the horrific condition of Los Angeles—rampant crime, homelessness, crumbling infrastructure, mass murder, mayhem, smash and grabs, deadly high speed pursuits, and god knows what else—at least it’ll be a fun shitshow watching how the city tries to pull off the international event four years from now. That is, if the world even still exists in 2028. But enough about the impending societal collapse, because here’s Scientology psychopath and notoriously closeted homosexual Tom Cruise jumping from the sky and carrying the Olympic flag (in an obviously prerecorded bit) to Hollywood to close out the games in Paris last night:

His face is totally bonkers, and it looks like he’s had some of those fillers that Madonna got when she showed up at the Grammys a few years ago. Hopefully he’ll deflate eventually like M did.

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