Here’s The First Trailer For Men’s Star Wars Gay Porn Parody

Posted December 15, 2016 by with 35 comments

star23Since Star Wars was sold to Disney in 2012, it’s been whored out and dumbed down to such an extent that the franchise doesn’t really matter or mean anything anymore. There was one mediocre movie last year, and now another one that looks even worse is coming this weekend. My advice: You’re better off watching this new gay porn parody of Star Wars tomorrow than wasting your time at a theater with the real one.

star21Like Disney, Men.com has no problem oversaturating the market with another Star Wars movie (they already released a Star Wars porn parody last year), but I guess this new one—based on Force Awakens—is a parody of the real Star Wars that was released last year, not the real one being released tomorrow? So this is, like, a year late? Great.

The one from last year, as you’ll recall, featured Luke Adams being gangbanged by Stormtroopers, which was fun:

star1

I’m not going to pretend to know or care who these new characters are supposed to be (I do recognize the same Stormtrooper costumes), but the porn stars are at least good at fucking. Aspen plays a good guy being captured, and a dark-haired Wesley Woods is playing the bad guy. They flip-fuck, which is nice to see.

star22

Porn companies have to spend a little extra money on scripts, sets, and costumes when they do these parodies, but hopefully Men.com didn’t waste too much here, given that Star Wars is played out and over. Ignore and/or fast forward through all the b-roll and just watch the fucking, which looks solid.

star24Trailer (watch full scene here):

[Men.com: Aspen And Wesley Woods Flip-Fuck]

 

  • Xzamilloh
  • Philip Broad

    Looks promising. Let’s hope the climax is another stormtrooper orgy.

  • sxg

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/44fac9d676c61b9b9a340d5585267cd84b3ac2543ceb02ea723bff75275428ce.gif
    Typical crazed Star Wars fanatic pissed off at last year’s film because it didn’t live up to the delusional standards of the original 3. Let’s be real here Star Wars is a great entertainment time killer but by no means will they, or have they ever been a film series composed of cinematic masterpieces, whether it’s the original 3 or the ones after that.

    As far as this scene goes, it looks hot! I’m down to see Aspen getting his plump juicy ass fucked! I just hope this parody series doesn’t lose its spark with every episode just like last year’s parody.

    • WhimsyCotton

      Agreed about your second point, but reviewers were riding last year’s Star Wars’ dick like no tomorrow. The movie was so fucking mediocre. It felt like the entire plot of the movie happened in like a day or two. Rushed from one thing to the next. Major plot point A > B > C > etc. No details. No in depth scenes. Just major plot points. And John Boyega’s acting… Lord have mercy.

  • Dreadmau5

    men.com is just slowly dying at its own fault and are willing to do the most desperate of gimmicks to be better. Could they get better? Absolutely. they just have to:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d1c88e89244dedfe0a18dcccd6a9ddfb6c02c6ece7bd37f58a65b0dec70de723.gif

    1) Kill the fuck off Johnny Rapid (whether figuratively or literally)
    2) Keep their exclusives in better rotation. Or at least update their exclusive list. Jack Radley is a great bottom but hasn’t had a scene in over a year. Jarec hasn’t had a scene in over a year yet both are on their front page.
    3) Just stop with Will Braun….just stop
    4) HAVE DIEGO SANS BOTTOM
    5) If they’re gonna keep using Dennis West, gethim a tan or something. Pale skin+ bright white lighting= blinding scenes
    6) If they’re gonna do parodies, they could at least keep some part of the costume on, lookin’ at you Captain America and XXX men parodies. If the Straights can figure it out, you can too
    7) Put the whole “straight” guy thing to rest, no one’s buying that

  • Dreadmau5

    Men.com, you’re dying out and these parodies aren’t helping. here’s what you can do to help yourself

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d1c88e89244dedfe0a18dcccd6a9ddfb6c02c6ece7bd37f58a65b0dec70de723.gif

    1) Kill the fuck off Johnny Rapid (whether figuratively or literally)
    2) Keep their exclusives in better rotation. Or at least update their exclusive list. Jack Radley is a great bottom but hasn’t had a scene in over a year. Jarec hasn’t had a scene in over a year yet both are on their front page.
    3) Just stop with Will Braun….just stop
    4) HAVE DIEGO SANS BOTTOM
    5) If they’re gonna keep using Dennis West, gethim a tan or something. Pale skin+ bright white lighting= blinding scenes
    6) If they’re gonna do parodies, they could at least keep some part of the costume on, lookin’ at you Captain America and XXX men parodies. If the Straights can figure it out, you can too
    7) Put the whole “straight” guy thing to rest, no one’s buying that

    • Marik Ishtar

      OMG yaaaas with the costumes. Seriously, how am I supposed to know I’m jerking off to a cowboy if he doesn’t keep his boots on?

  • Victor

    What an honor, but which actor is playing me?

  • Victor
    • Marik Ishtar

      Didn’t you hear? The only one who could play you ran off with his dick between his legs.

      • Victor

        Yes, but there has to be other porn models ready to portray the main character.

    • WhimsyCotton

      Whoever has the worst acting ability probably. That way it stays true to the source material.

    • Dreadmau5

      annnnnnd the winner is….. Kaden Alexander

  • Dale Bergman
  • Marik Ishtar

    Didn’t Aspen quit porn to be a family man?
    My prediction is that this scene will be 45 minutes long. 12 minutes of it will be the set-up, nearly 20 minutes spent on oral, and 10 minutes will be actual fucking; meaning Aspen will bottom for 3 of those minutes before flipping. The remaining time will be wasted on them jacking off until climax.

    And while we’re on the subject what the fuck happened to the Star Trek parody?

    • sxg

      They have a How To Get Away With Murder parody as well that was filmed over a year ago but that has yet to be released as well. Not sure what the holdup is on that.

      • Zachary Sire

        I think that’s going on almost two years ago. I don’t think it’ll ever be released. From what I’ve been told, the directing/filming might’ve been just too horrific, even for a MEN shoot.

        • sxg

          That’s pretty sad! Any chance you know who directed it? Paul Wagner? Lol btw didn’t Paul direct that pretty woman parody?

          • Zachary Sire

            I want to say yes, but I can’t remember for sure. It definitely was filmed in California.

      • Marik Ishtar

        They also never finished releasing Arrow and Pokémon Go scenes either.

        • sxg

          I don’t think Arrow was intended to be a series, just a one-off parody scene. It was produced during a time when they weren’t reall doing continuation series.

          I don’t think Pokemon Go was meant to be a series either.

  • WhimsyCotton

    Everything Aspen has been in has been in since leaving Chaosmen just seems like such a regression. It must be the directing and editing because he clearly still knows how to ride a dick.

    • sxg

      It’s the directing and editing. I was informed from someone who did a scene there that Mindgeek/Men has a ridiculous guide book that they want directors to adhere to. It’s not just a what you can and cannot do in a scene guide, it also sets guides on how much time you are allowed to film every act in a scene.

      At first I thought it was complete BS, but looking at their porn and how rigid everything is it’s hard not to believe it.

      • Marik Ishtar

        Yea, that sounds like corporate interference. These are the same people who tell you how long you have to use the bathroom and how many minutes you may spend on each phone transaction (with a script to follow too.)

      • WhimsyCotton

        I knew something had to be up I just couldn’t explain it because Aspen is still clearly good at his job. His scene with Theon on CM is still the pinnacle of his porn career as far as I’m concerned.

      • McM.

        That does clear up a lot. Since Mindgeek is pumping out scenes on a daily basis, not just for Men but it’s other sites, the time constraints make sense from a production standpoint. Ensuring scenes will be submitted on time for editing means subscribers won’t be disappointed… on that front. And it can cut down on unexpected costs.

        It can put a lot of pressure on performers – you have five minutes to get it up to finish this portion – so wouldn’t be surprised if ED pills were everywhere in candy dishes. But doubt they can do much if a guy happens to be “holding water” during a bottoming segment. Ppl have to wash up and reset. Rather impressive when performers can pull out a good scene, but your post does explain why so many releases are ho-hum.

  • Pertinax

    This is a very opinionated article that resulted in a good criticism : May porn always have someone to cut the ” Ts ” ! Someone like him ( below ) would be nice… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3b2e222705d617792402ceba827439d3d38d6537fc84695c9cc3e98caaa5fe51.jpg Yes, him … Nice.

  • goosegui
  • Scrapple

    Well if anyone knows about being whored out, it’s Solomon Aspen.
    https://media2.giphy.com/media/NI79NgNTnCoBa/200.gif#175

  • John

    Anytime Aspen is getting fucked its a scene I will see….love his thick ass and body giving it up

  • Maximus

    Zachary, https://img.pandawhale.com/post-23810-I-find-your-lack-of-faith-dist-4mSE.gif

    The new Star Wars movies are sickeningly gag-worthy. The characters are badass and lovable. I suspect that you may lack a sense of wonder.

    • Zachary Sire

      They are 100% profit-driven bombs that are horribly written and completely meaningless, just like everything else.