Grabbys Predictions Part 1: Who Will Win, Who Should Win, And Who Doesn’t Stand A Chance In Hell

Posted May 19, 2014 by Zach with 5 comments

The 2014 Grabbys will be held this Saturday, May 24th at Metro in Chicago, with returning hosts (for the 800 millionth time) Chi Chi LaRue and Honey West. Joining them as co-hosts are Trenton Ducati, Adam Killian, Shawn Wolfe, Jesse Jackman, Jason Phoenix, and either Christopher Daniels or Levi Karter (they keep changing the flyer, so who knows). I’ll be there with live, 24/7 coverage from Wednesday through Sunday, and here is Part 1 of my annual predictions for who will win, who should win, and who doesn’t stand a chance in hell. Part 2 is coming later this week.

Like every year, I usually get most of these dead wrong, so please keep that in mind. The Grabbys are known for dividing up the awards as diplomatically and equally as possible, so the only real guarantee to be made is that everyone always wins at least one award. Full list of nominees here.

(Note that in some performer categories, The Grabbys select 2 winners.)

BEST NEWCOMER
Boomer Banks
Blue Bailey
Johnny Blum
Joey Cooper
Donnie Dean
Mike DiMarco
Colton Grey
Levi Karter
Connor Kline
Kevin Lee
Jessie Montgomery
Hunter Page
Nick Prescott
Adam Ramzi
Armond Rizzo
Billy Santoro
Damien Taylor
Tyson Tyler
Austin Wolfe
Shawn Wolfe

Will Win: Shawn Wolfe and Levi Karter
Should Win: Tyson Tyler and Levi Karter
Doesn’t Stand A Chance: Connor Kline

Connor retired in February, so I can’t see the Grabbys giving it to him (although, he would have easily won had he not left the industry). And while Hunter Page, Boomer Banks, Billy Santoro, and Tyson Tyler had big years, the Grabbys are too obsessed with Shawn and Levi not to honor them here.

BEST ACTOR
Jessy Ares – Original Sinners
Dale Cooper – Golden Gate 5, Nakedsword
Christopher Daniels – Teddy Bear – Channel 1 Releasing
Trenton Ducati – Silence of the Cams 1 & 2
Jimmy Durano – My Doctor Sucks – Hot House
Jesse Jackman – Dick Danger – Titan Men
Hunter Marx – Shag – Titan Men
Jessie Montgomery – Helix Academy – Helix Studios
Hunter Page – Frat House Cream – Nakedsword
Ricky Roman – The Haunting, Cockyboys
Tate Ryder – Silence of the Cams 2
Brett Summers – America’s Next Hot Bottom – Jet Set Men
Shawn Wolfe – Timberwolves, Raging Stallion Studios

Will Win: Dale Cooper
Should Win: Dale Cooper or Ricky Roman
Doesn’t Stand A Chance: Brett Summers

Dale was fantastic as a San Francisco councilman trying to pass a nudity ban, and his role required the most actual acting and had the most dialogue (he gave a lengthy speech in the middle of the Castro), so this is his to lose. (Full disclosure: I created Dale’s character and wrote most of the screenplay for Golden Gate 5, so I’m probably biased.) Meanwhile, how was Jet Set Men, which hasn’t released a movie since, like, 2011, even nominated for anything?

BEST SCREENPLAY
America’s Next Hot Bottom – Jet Set Men
Dick Danger – Titan Men
Frat House Cream – Nakedsword
Golden Gate 5 – Nakedsword
Helix Academy – Helix Studios
Manly Seduction – Kristen Bjorn
My Doctor Sucks – Hot House Entertainment
Original Sinners – Lucas Entertainment
Silence of the Cams 1 & 2 – Dominic Ford
The Boy who cried D.I.L.F. – Channel 1 Releasing
The Haunting – Cockyboys
Timberwolves – Raging Stallion Studios

Will Win: Golden Gate 5
Should Win: Golden Gate 5
Doesn’t Stand A Chance: America’s Next Hot Bottom

Most of these didn’t even have scripts, but of the ones that did, I have to fall back on my aforementioned bias and go with Golden Gate 5. With that said, I fully expect to lose. The Haunting or Helix Academy could easily win.

BEST VERSATILE PERFORMER
Jake Bass
Landon Conrad
Dale Cooper
Christopher Daniels
Tommy Defendi
Trenton Ducati
Jake Genesis
Diesel O’Green
Adam Killian
Connor Kline
Ryan Rose
Christian Wilde
Shawn Wolfe

Will Win: Christopher Daniels
Should Win: Ryan Rose
Doesn’t Stand A Chance: Christian Wilde

I love Christian Wilde more than life itself, but bottoming one time doesn’t make someone versatile. So many of these guys have already won Grabbys (Trenton Ducati, Landon Conrad, Adam Killian, Tommy Defendi), so it won’t be any of them. Christopher Daniels is a deserving performer who has yet to win a Grabby, so it’s his time. But, Ryan Rose feels more like the epitome of versatile to me (and to fans).

HOTTEST TOP
Angelo
Gabriel Clark
Tommy Defendi
Topher Dimaggio
Trenton Ducati
Jimmy Durano
Dale Cooper
Kris Evans
Connor Maguire
Hunter Marx
Angel Rock
Johnny Ryder
Sean Xavier
Christian Wilde
Will Win: Angel Rock
Should Win: Connor Maguire
Doesn’t Stand A Chance: Jimmy Durano

Jimmy won this category last year, so he’s out. My personal favorite is Connor Maguire (hello, he fucked someone hanging upside down from a tree), but given that Angel Rock never bottoms, they’ll likely give it to him.