Is This The Most Bullshit Gay Porn Star GoFundMe Ever?

Posted December 22, 2014 by with 40 comments

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Some gay porn star GoFundMe campaigns are funny, while others are downright pathetic. And while I’ve been keeping tracking of them for a long time (try not to be jealous of my job), I’ve never come across one as stupid and full of shit as the one forwarded to me today.

Here’s gay porn star Owen Michaels (a gay-for-payer who’s done work for Hot House, Falcon, ChaosMen, CollegeDudes, and NextDoorBuddies) begging for $10,000 so that he can write a book.

My name is Owen Michaels and i am a gay porn star in search of your help.  I have a story to tell.  It’s about the trials and tribulations that lead a straight guy like myself to start doing gay porn.  I often ask myself, “how did i get here”.  The answers may suprise you.  There is a lot of things that have happened in my life that led me to this point and I want to tell my story.

Don’t we all?

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Oh, btw, Owen Michaels doesn’t just need $10,000 to write a book. He also needs $10,000 to hire a lawyer, because he’s probably going to prison (unless you give him $10,000):

I not only have a story to tell but I am going through some rough problems in my life right now.  I am going to court on a crime I did not commit and could face 7 years in prison if i am convicted.  I have someone trying to get revenge on me and I need money for my attorney to save my life and have came up short.

Revenge! Revenge for what? Left out of this GoFundMe campaign are the details as to what Owen Michaels did in order to provoke someone to try to “get revenge on [him].”

I don’t want to go to prison for something i did not commit.

Same.

I have been going through problems for over a year now. I can’t get a normal job because my pending charges show up and has been making my life hard…I have been doing gay porn which helped me with some of it but I came to a stump.

If pending charges are “showing up”(?) when applying for normal jobs, maybe Owen Michaels should just do more gay porn? If he’s being accused of murder, he’d surely have no problem getting work with Duckface.

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Here’s where things get kind of weird/sad:

This purpose is not only to help me with my book.  Its main purpose is to help me not become a man who could possibly never get a job or own a house for the rest of his life…  Please help me.  I am struggling so hard in life and have no where to go anymore.  I need a way out and can only do that with your help! Have you ever been homeless?  I mean truly homeless.  It really does something to a man. I have a family from hell that has tried to ruin my life. I wasn’t the first victim though. My grandfather was the first.

Grandpa was a good man – a successful man, but my family took control of all his money, his license and his independence.  They forced him to suffer in an old folks home when he would have had enough money to live comfortably the rest of his life.  He was really my only role model.  I was removed from my father’s home at a young age when my dad was put into prison for 5 years.  As a child i had no power to help Grandpa or control his fate. I was powerless and I ended up losing my only role model too early. I really miss him.

There have been so many things I’ve gone through. All of them much worse than the brief stories I told you above. I want to share my story through a book I’m writing. I want to be able to let the full story unfold. It’s a story of a good kid. It’s the story on how when something can go wrong, it usually did. I’m a straight man who now makes a living doing gay porn in order to survive and try to live a normal life. I’ve overcome what seemed like insurmountable odds at times but here I am. I want to tell you and the world the whole story – that is why I am asking for your help.

So far, Owen Michaels has raised $20.

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Two weeks after launching the GoFundMe, Owen Michaels posted the below tweet, which means he probably already spent the whole $20.