Johnny Rapid, Diego Sans, And Paddy O’Brian Star In Pirates Of The Caribbean Gay Porn Parody

Posted May 21, 2017 by with 44 comments

diego johnny paddyWe haven’t seen Johnny Rapid in a gay porn scene in nearly seven months, but that changes this Friday when he, Diego Sans, and Paddy O’Brian star in Men.com’s gay porn parody of Pirates Of The Caribbean. Promo shots released this weekend, with a trailer dropping sometime this week, prior to the first scene’s release on Friday, May 26th:

DAMP20kUAAAeMZw DARhJgzXsAAbzdv DAWppM9XgAAzhd4The actual Pirates Of The Caribbean is one of the worst movie franchises in history (I walked out of the first one and never bothered with any of the others), so this parody is guaranteed to be better than any of the real movies, as far as I’m concerned. Also, this is the first time Johnny, Diego, and Paddy (Men.com’s three biggest stars) have all been in the same series, and hopefully they’ll be in an orgy together? And if Marc MacNamara directed this, we’ll likely have scenes that were filmed well in picturesque, outdoor settings (MacNamara directed last year’s epic Tarzan, which was nominated in four categories at the upcoming Str8UpGayPorn Awards). More coming soon…

 

  • pangelboy

    I’m looking forward to this, surprisingly. Cool posters

  • FieldMedic

    Unless Diego and Paddy bottoms I predict that this will be a snoozefest.

  • Pascal

    I am shocked that no-one has a grotesque wig so far!

  • James Johnson III

    I’m kinda looking forward to this. Considering there was a str8 parody after the first film came out, I’m shocked that it took this long for a parody of our own!

  • Maximus

    I assume that Dead-Eyes Diego is playing Captain Barbossa.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0b44a8f6f3d64d1443cee6ac041a5f3d579bd5645bfce24d5a537241dc1f73a3.gif

    Paddy O’Brian must be playing Will Turner, the rather feminine pretty boy who nonetheless proclaims to be entirely heterosexual.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9b585b45830a03df37d4d1fbe40164bf46bd51f080546c147e4b63e3304e5020.gif

    And that means that Lil’ Johnny the hebephilic girlfriend batterer is, appropriately, playing the lower-class substance-abuser who disrespects women.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f70d37df4d8b2c5fb9adaf669b6fdcbbba0f55559389fb887ec447609bda2bc3.gif

    • Scrapple

      I’m assuming Diego brought his own eyeliner

  • https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a991d9854bd9f4b8d6a72b275126938b728408eaf1f6fefefaa31bba06d7dc00.gif

    ^Watch them hype the production values and then it turns out like this.

  • Miss Tea

    The porn might be bad but the costumes sure are well done.

  • Zealot

    Ahoy, me Hearties!
    Avast, ye!
    This Old Salt is battening down the hatches, and
    gathering up me pieces of eight.
    Readying for a pillaging of me poop deck by one Buccaneer in particular, Diego! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e2b8c68b1d6f190fe3642b16bde6c04f01e68c8e492eae4ef331da8ff8558985.jpg
    And I’ll fire a shot across any landlubber’s bow who crosses me.
    So slice the mainbrace, b’cause thar she blows!

  • Miss Dior

    Becaus you love talking about everyone’s drama, why don’t you write about your sponsors for the award killing the business. If anyone would of been using that sponsor you would of written ten stories by now

  • Todd
  • Caesarimp

    So, legit question: does anyone know what ever happened with the charges against Johnny? Were they dropped? Resolved? Ongoing?

  • nick

    I love a bit of dress-up and I love mr o’brian, so I’m excited.

  • sxg

    I’m guessing Diego is playing the role of Jack Sparrow? He’s got the facial hair for it, as well as looks like a day drunk, but in a good way lol.

    I really hope that Diego and Paddy flip fuck. I think I’d just about die if they did! More than likely we’ll see both of them DP Johnny.

  • Mike Julius

    Haven’t seen the trailer, but every time they say booty, do a shot.

  • Cubankid

    Diego has lost a lot of muscle. Not hear for this though, Vapid will most likely be the bottom.. and I’ve seen that 100 times ( LITERALLY ).

    • WhimsyCotton

      Better than seeing it 200 times (he is at over 200 times now isn’t he?).

  • Paul J

    Three (? I don’t know Diego Sans’s sexuality) straight guys pretending to like cock. I think I can contain my excitement.

    • pangelboy
      • Mike Julius

        LMFAO

      • Ricky

        Blind astronauts in space can see Diego Sans is gay.

    • Marcus Collack

      I don’t know any of their sexualities. All three of them for a number of years have claimed to be straight. One was a subject of a Gay4Pay documentary, one refused to suck dick or be fucked for the longest, one refused to be kissed but would have trenches fucked into him. The real peculiar thing is the the three biggest stars of a Gay Adult film company may or may not be gay. Which is partially disheartening and partially engrossing as it really does lend itself to a truly no label society, where if you want the label you can have it, and if you don’t want one, it is no longer forced upon you by others with whatever connotations they want you to have.

      • Paul J

        Yes, it is absolutely incomprehensible to me that those three are big gay porn stars. You’d think that liking sucking dick, being fucked or kissing men would be essential requirements.

    • Ceecee

      Diego is, uh, one of the gayest men I have ever seen.

      Rapid claims to be Bi now but who knows.

      • Rob36

        Yeah, ”Bi” him a drink and he’ll bounce on your penis all night long.

  • Marcus Collack

    Not the Abyss!
    Maybe that’s why he needed 7 months off, had to heal the wound that dick divided.

  • adamb

    I for one cannot wait for Mr Johnny Raid’s return, been way too long. I just hope that Vadim is in this with a scene with Johnny or just in this at all & they both must get fucked by each other hopefully, love them both! Bring on the hate!

    • Link Nla

      i’m w/you adamb, not sure why Johnny gets so much hate on here but I can’t get enough of him. Duuuuude him and Vadim in another scene together, yaaaaaaaaasssss!

      • WhimsyCotton

        He gets hate because he was kind of preying on some 16(?) year old girl. Just because he’s got a baby face doesn’t mean he’s not in his mid 20s.

        • Link Nla

          ahhhhhh I’m not up on all the gossip, too bad, he’s such a good-looking guy :(

        • Dave

          Oh please, there are plenty of stars here that have done so many worse things. Get over it and we don’t even know if it was true or not. Just gossip. I am sure he’d be in jail if he was preying on a minor.

          • adamb

            In my view porn wise, Johnny can do no wrong in my eyes, i dont care for his personal life – i dont know him, im just a fan.

          • WhimsyCotton

            Um, hey I’m just the messenger. I’ve been over Johnny Rapid long before I learned of his extracurricular activities. Too much of him too quickly.

  • skye3245

    all this time…johnny better have built an amazing body in his off time, tightened that hole, and be riding dick like his life depended on it. This better be an amazing set of scenes. Or its the plank HO!!

  • Scrapple

    Wait, they gave Paddy the Jack Davenport role instead of making him a pirate? How does that make sense?

  • Maximus

    What if I don’t want the companies to stay afloat? (Nice use of nautical terminology, by the way.)

    • Dreadmau5

      would any of us REALLY cry if Johnny Rapid became unemployed?

      • adamb

        I would i love him.

  • sxg

    Pretty sure that every scene Johnny Rapid bottoms in will soon look like this.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8b3ea4ccb68c2a6e84c4cd9e705dd7d84bbb1928eb40155bbf16e6ee17952a56.gif

  • emercycrite

    And Diego is the one that looks (the most) ridiculous here.

  • Rob36

    I said ”walk” the plank Johnny, walk it.

  • Zavier

    Paddy is so sexy

  • UK Jonny

    Ah time to get the jokes out about Roger the cabin boy,Seaman Staines and Master Bates looking for the Golden Rivet.

  • CamCam

    Will Paddy O’Brian ever do a flip flop scene (if he hasn’t already)? And a scene where him and the guy he’s with BOTH ago down on one another? I’m waiting for that day, or should I say I won’t hold my breath.