The Sketchy Sex Model Info Sheet Is Actually The Best Part Of Sketchy Sex

Posted January 25, 2017 by with 36 comments

austinNot sure when this happened (maybe I’ve been distracted by their fake cum tube and Little Debbie’s), but the Sketchy Sex model info sheets have become the most entertaining thing about Sketchy Sex. The one above—featuring a poor man’s Blake Mitchell named Austin Floyd—is tame, but the other ones for this week’s update do a nice job making fun of the cliched gay porn labels that so many gay porn stars use.

Billy Bottom (LOL) says he doesn’t like labels and is “mostly straight” (also LOL), but he does like getting fucked. Well, sure, who doesn’t?

billyGuy Houston—whose 1997 circuit queen tattoos are so hilarious, I almost think they’re fake and the Sketchy Sex production crew added them in Photoshop—will not be taking any of your labels either:

guyAnd poor John Finch, bless his heart, happens to be a closeted top with an 8.5 inch cock. (And in all seriousness, he is very hot, and he needs to become an actual gay porn star):

johnfinchFor anyone who’s interested in the actual scene, the “mostly straight” bottom, Billy Bottom, gets fucked by all the big dicks. And before he rides John Finch’s cock, he of course does some poppers. Because that’s what straight guys do:

billyb1billyb2SS073A_052 SS073A_073 SS073A_043 SS073A_025Trailer (watch full scene here):

[Sketchy Sex: John Finch, Austin Floyd, Billy Bottom, Guy Houston Bareback Orgy]

  • Marik Ishtar
  • Maximus

    I mean, in all fairness, sexual orientation is just another one of those bullshit socially constructed labels. The term “heterosexual” didn’t even exist until the 1890s.

    • WhimsyCotton

      Then again isn’t “socially constructed label” also a modern social construct?

      • Pertinax

        I don’t know… I’m really lost in all this shit …but I’m always trying to know more …Maybe if a read this… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/08c13e9914a4cbbbdbca2fdd62aa5fa213b6752bd0c62d5bab58a465ca15e324.jpg

        • V1

          Is that like a recipe book where you can take plaster of paris, Skittles, Cool Whip and baby oil and make your very own homosexual?

          • Dazzer

            There used to be graffiti in the UK in the ’70s:
            “My Mum made me a lesbian”
            Underneath was always added: “if I give her the wool, will she make me one, too?”

      • Maximus

        The concept was first articulated in the late 1800s-early 1900s, but the phenomenon has existed since species in the genus homo first acquired culture.

        • Dazzer

          members of the genus homo who haven’t acquired culture yet are called what?

          Trumpanzees?

          • Maximus

            They have culture. Gun shows, WWE, fast food, reality TV, and institutionalized oppression are all aspects of culture.

          • nick

            I love WWE, it’s the most homoerotic stuff on tv

          • Maximus

            Ironic, isn’t it? These people claim to hate all things queer, yet they watch super gay theatre—WWE consists of scripted and choreographed performances, after all—productions.

    • Pertinax

      I respect your position about sexual orientation, but the term ‘ heterosexual ‘ didn’t have to exist in the past because its opposite : homosexual ( and lesbians etc ) was considered a mental illness not a ‘ sexual orientation ‘ and if in the future someone discovers that all this thing is due to genetics and it can be fixed, science, medice will turn back and will pass to name homosexuality a disease again… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9d4f43b6ee6ee3dcc5adecc9017640b4ed2015569bc0ea0c59eceec06b5dde5d.jpghttps://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/132b6903a34f6b9f0c72e239372e86f2d0b7f691beb3f54cdaf5d17ab4710631.jpg

      • Maximus

        Actually, both terms originated at the same time. Also, same-sex sexual activity wasn’t always considered a mental illness. That too is a relatively recent notion. I highly recommend the book “The Invention of Heterosexuality” by Jonathan Ned Katz, and an article in the journal Social Problems by Mary McIntosh titled “The Homosexual Role.”

      • Joey

        Wow @ that vintage cocksucking pic. I love it when rare stuff like that survives the decades.

        • Pertinax

          And the first one is very self explanatory !

      • Steve

        Is that first pic Jake Cruise’sfather??

  • WhimsyCotton

    I don’t get what’s up with all the label hate. Why does everyone need to be a unique snowflake? Bisexual covers pretty much any non gay/straight grey area. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/76f3323882b6c087368bc79d09fc78d6d6619b1aea89a2853274069e4df0c35c.gif

    • Kim K’s Kute Koochy✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      “I don’t like labels, as a millennial I don’t like labels” – Tomi Lahren

    • Zealot

      People who say they don’t like labels IMHO are really saying they’re not proud or secure in themselves. I know who I am and I like who I am and I’ll tell anyone who asks I’m gay. Just because I’ve paddled the old skin canoe to Tuna Town a time or two doesn’t make me bi. I did it to cross it off my bucket list and to make sure I wasn’t giving something a pass that might have deserved more time and attention…and learned that I’m good with limiting seafood to restaurants.

    • Totally agree. This whole movement to “reject” labels is holding us back from being taken seriously. The LGBT community comes across as arrogant, irrational attention seekers.

      If you are a dude who likes dudes, you’re gay. If you’re a dude who likes dudes and the ladies, you’re bisexual. I’m fine with “pansexual”. We just have to start somewhere.

  • Richard “the BBC Cuck” Spencer

    I gotta give it to Sketchy Sex, they’re very consistent. The models are just as trashy-looking as the environment they fuck in.
    https://m.popkey.co/7084ac/jrbwm.gif

    • V1

      Man, that hair cut on John Finch is pretty trashy.

  • Xzamilloh

    Let Guy Houston’s ink be a lesson to you men out there. Get tats that have a meaning to you, not the ones you saw that one time and thought they’d be cool. Because that tribal arm sleeve is the tramp stamp of the douchebag. And those dragon tats are only salvageable because his body is fucking sick!!!

    Let’s stop this, okay?

    https://media.giphy.com/media/QmYosM4PO08FO/giphy.gif

  • sanfv
  • sxg
  • Zealot

    Stat Sheets We’d Love to See:

    Name: I don’t like labels
    Age: Old enough to know better, too young to care
    Ethnicity: Earthling
    Height: I can ride most attractions at Disney World
    Weight: So I like burritos, fuckin’ sue me!
    Dick: Party size, ok more like snack size, but filling…think of canned sausages
    Pref. Role: That cool guy in that movie where he’s like in a computer or something
    Eyes: Two
    Hair: Yes, except where I don’t have any
    Sexual Orientation: Northeast

    So is this how you’re supposed to fill this out?? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/db6972c1fe1f6ae7ddfab7a520c440ffcdbec20cc9b56703660433fec8d91865.jpg

    • V1

      Looks like those dick strokes may be messing up his keystrokes.

      • Zealot

        Oh, you know it gurrrl!!

  • Where do they have the model bios posted? I can’t find them on the site.

  • emercycrite

    Guy looks familiar. Banging body but shame about the dumb tats.

  • bo69

    A friend who’s a member of the site wants to know where you got the info sheet–he can’t find it on the site.

    • Zachary Sire

      The info sheets are included in the press packs that their marketing department sends to media/bloggers.

  • nick

    If they were Helix models :

    Likes – Pokemon, lego, Disney movies
    Dislikes – Labels larger than “XS”, food, girls