Exclusive: Here’s Your “Gay Of Thrones” Character Guide To Who’s Fucking Whom
Theo Ford as Melisandre? Paddy O’Brian as Jon Snow? Sean Cody’s Dennis as Stannis Baratheon? It’s true. Str8UpGayPorn is now able to confirm which Game Of Thrones characters your favorite gay porn stars will be portraying in the upcoming “Gay Of Thrones.” The first season of Men.com’s parody was disappointing, to say the least, but I still have high hopes for this second season, partly because of all the A-list performers, but also because of this truly great casting.
Here is your guide to who’s playing whom and who’s fucking whom in “Gay Of Thrones: Season 2,” which was filmed entirely on location in Spain. Warning: Major spoilers from the actual Game Of Thrones below.
Paddy O’Brian as Jon Snow
This one most of you already know. The big news here is that Paddy O’Brian will be sucking cock for the first time (yes, a gay porn star performing a routine sex act in a gay porn scene is considered news in this ridiculous industry), and as Connor Maguire confirmed to Str8UpGayPorn last week, we know that Paddy is sucking him off. This of course can only mean one thing…
Connor Maguire as Ygritte
Ginger Connor Maguire as ginger wildling Ygritte is a great choice for two obvious reasons, the first of which being their matching hair color. The second? In Game Of Thrones, Jon Snow’s first time was with Ygritte, and in “Gay Of Thrones,” Paddy’s first time (giving a blowjob) will be with Connor. And given that it’s his first time, I can’t wait to hear Connor tell Paddy that he knows nothing about sucking cock.
Darius Ferdynand and Gabriel Cross as Two Whores
This might come as a disappointment to some, but I’ve learned that Darius Ferdynand and Gabriel Cross do not portray major characters in “Gay Of Thrones.” Instead, they play two random whores who have sex with…
Johnny Rapid as King Joffrey Baratheon
Is this the best gay porn casting ever? Possibly. Spoiled brat Johnny Rapid playing spoiled brat King Joffrey is genius. Will the plot advance far enough to see Johnny/Joffrey being poisoned? And if so, who will do the honors? Also, do they have bowling alleys in King’s Landing?
JP Dubois as Cersei Lannister
A male version of Cersei? Why not. This second season of “Gay Of Thrones” was filmed long before the season five finale of Game Of Thrones, so we probably won’t see JP Dubois doing a walk of shame. And, it’s still unclear as of post time who his scene partner is, but given Men.com’s penchant for family-themed gay porn, they have to have him fucking whoever is playing Jaime Lannister, right? Stay tuned.
Jesse Ares as Khal Drogo
Or, maybe they’ll just stick JP Duboi’s Cersei with Jesse Ares’ Khal Drogo? In terms of scene partner reveals, the only two who are unaccounted for are JP’s and Jesse’s. This would veer completely off course from the Game Of Thrones plot, but I wouldn’t be surprised.
Theo Ford as Melisandre
Ugh, the last thing any of us want to think about while watching gay porn is a little girl being burned at the stake! And how can you not, knowing that Theo Ford has been cast as that asshole witch Melisandre? Luckily, as Theo tells Str8UpGayPorn, his role “doesn’t involve any murders,” and he only uses his “magic on [his] prey.” Who knew that Damien Kyle was actually sort of on to something when he called Theo Ford a “fairy bitch” during their recent Twitter war!?
Dennis West as Stannis Baratheon
The biggest casting coup of the entire series has to be former Sean Cody model Dennis as Stannis Baratheon. Given Stannis’ creepy relationship with Melisandre, it’s clear that Theo Ford and Dennis West will be fucking. It’s also clear, sadly, that we won’t be seeing Dennis giving or receiving any more creampies now that he’s left his bareback career behind him at Sean Cody.
“Gay Of Thrones” premieres next month on Men.com, and in the meantime, a reminder of Dennis’ (now Dennis West) last bareback scene at Sean Cody, with Randy:
