WATCH: Killian James Has Incoherent, Meth-Fueled Meltdown During Suicide Prevention Charity Event

Posted September 13, 2016 by with 113 comments

csgsoc5weae30kcLast weekend, YouTube personality Jonny McGovern (“Hey Qween”) co-hosted a charity event for the It Gets Better Project in Philadelphia, which featured appearances by porn stars Seth Santoro and Billy Santoro, newcomer Ian Greene, and others, as seen above. During a break backstage, McGovern took to Facebook to live stream a bizarre and incoherent rant from former bareback porn actor and disgraced racist Killian James.


This video features multiple racial slurs, illicit drug use (Killian James is said to be high on meth throughout the video, and as McGovern points out, had been smoking meth prior to the live stream), and nonsensical insults against gay porn stars Ryan Rose, Sebastian Kross, Mickey Taylor, and Bray Love, as well as director mr. Pam, porn conglomerate AEBN, and even a sex toy company.


Killian James, who last week admitted to using the n-word in a separate but equally offensive tirade, appears extremely imbalanced and in the midst of some kind of psychotic episode throughout the clip. And his physical appearance is as unsettling as his mental state, as seen in screenshots below.

kj11 kj33 kj22According to Killian James, unflattering blog coverage of his deranged behavior, use of racial slurs, and his deteriorating physical appearance drives traffic to his escorting profile, which in turn increases his popularity among clients and gay porn studios. While James hasn’t appeared in a single high profile gay porn scene in months and is apparently dependent upon “$800 club appearances” in order to make ends meet, he does claim in the video below that he’s been hired to work for Treasure Island Media.

kj44While McGovern has since deleted the Facebook live stream, Str8UpGayPorn was able to preserve a copy, which you can view below. It’s a long and disturbing 14 minutes, but Seth Santoro sums things up aptly towards the end of the clip: “Don’t do drugs, people.”


  • Mike Julius

    The rest of the video is irrelevant; who is that at 5:11?!

  • McM.

    Wow. I was watching this earlier today! I went from the RyRo tweet Zach posted to his instagram account that had a post denouncing McGovern with the FB link.

    Ryan Rose thought Jonny McGovern was supporting Killian James, but really he was recording Killian’s meltdown. It is to the point where it isn’t funny anymore. That dude needs help.

    • Xzamilloh

      Nah, it’s still funny, but he does need help.

  • jimboivyo

    He had the audacity to call Erik Rhodes his good friend whom I’m almost certain he never even met not to mention his personal fuck-you to his own father who died of AIDS.

    This scum-bag mother fucker should be on every porn studio and escort-client’s do-not-hire-list.

    This guy is dangerous.

    • Kim K’s Kute Koochy✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      still lots less deplorable than your statement
      “It won’t be a Truvada prescription it’ll be a prescription for AntiRetroVirals which everyone else will end up pay for.”

  • Oppen

    I’ve always found Killian James distasteful, but I never thought he would sink this low. The most horrifying thing is that he’s studying to be a nurse.

    • Mike Julius

      I’m guessing *was.

      • Oppen

        I hope so. Imagine being ill in hospital and seeing him approach you with … instruments.

        • Mike Julius

          I’m being serious: for the sake of public health, someone should alert his school to this video.

          • Kim K’s Kute Koochy✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

            and what you think that nursing school COULD or SHOULD do then????

          • Russell47

            If it’s a reputable Nursing School affiliated with a hospital (NOT Trump University) they’d re-interview him & possibly put him on probation, They would also insist he get into rehab, & some form of mental heath/addiction program. Most Nursing Schools in the US are affiliated with a hospital, since they have to have patients that the student nurse (with an accredited RN/BSN overseeing) cares for. IN NYC, NYU?Belleville have vtheir own nursing schools. I worked in a NJ hospital for years, they too had their own Nursing School. Hope he gets help, or by the look of him he’ll end up on E28th St & 1St Ave, Bellevue’s morgue

          • Kim K’s Kute Koochy✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

            only Trump University is tremendous, huge, successful. therefore; the only one that counts. The rest are Looooosers LOL

          • Ceecee


          • Kim K’s Kute Koochy✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ
          • Jer

            Actually, this typically gets people kicked out of nursing school. No drugs policy.

          • Kim K’s Kute Koochy✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

            really? since when? what you know about nursing school anyway? We’re talking about REAL University here, not DragU & your queen RuPaul

          • Jer

            Well, considering I’ve taught nursing school at the undergrad level (and have to start teaching again next semester at both the undergrad and grad levels ugh) and hold both a bachelors and masters in it, and soon a doctorate in it, I’d say I know quite a lot about nursing school.

          • Scrapple
          • Mike Julius

            Kick him out? Shoyld l add more question marks???????

  • Awai_Moon

    Children this is why you don’t do drugs…

  • Trepakprince

    I love a Trainwreck more than the next queen but this should be on liveleak. I guess someone is going on my death bingo card.

  • Futanari-Kisaragi Yagami

    His voice.

  • gnormie

    I’m sure we will be reading his obituary during the holiday season.

  • John McKee

    My awful theory is after all his former talk about how much he was affected by his father dying of AIDS and trying to be careful he seroconverted and went off the deepend because fuck it, he thought he did everything right and he still got HIV so might as well go out with a bang.

    I honestly wish him the best, he needs to snap out of this before he ends up like his “good friend” Erik Rhodes”.

    • n24rc

      No, that isn’t escaping grief of HIV status, it’s being an addict – children of addicts are four time likely to become one. His odds were against him despite knowing about it first hand.

      • Well said and Meth makes some guys into the biggest barebacking whores.

  • jacob221

    More profile views doesn’t mean you’re making more money

  • GayhawkAZ

    I KNEW I wasn’t confusing my drug-addled porn stars!

  • sanfv

    Hmm. Where is Trenton Ducati and all his “kill meth” angels? Wasn’t that a thing for a bit?

    Red alert bat-Ducati! Time to Kill meth aka Killian James.

    • All that “charity” did was hawk shirts and other crap with that slogan on them. Like that is going to help get tweakers into rehab.

  • Dale Bergman

    Are delusions of grandeur a side effect of heavy drug use?

  • Xzamilloh

    I don’t need or deserve to see Killian James OR motormouth Johnny McGovern in my face like that…

    Making 800 dollars just to step into a nightclub?

    Gurl… I’d ask for receipts but she might hand me a Truvada prescription scribbled on a dried out wet wipe. But this was entertaining.

    • gnormie

      how did you make aretha so skinny?

      • Xzamilloh

        Skiing with Tina… Turner.

    • jimboivyo

      It won’t be a Truvada prescription it’ll be a prescription for retroantivirals which everyone else will end up pay for.

      • Xzamilloh

        He makes 800 dollars just to appear at nightclubs I’m sure he can afford his own stuff.

      • Kim K’s Kute Koochy✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

        bahahahahah Truvada IS AntiRetroViral, 2 of them in 1 pill indeed.
        Now be a good girl & go watch your brainless DragRace show

      • JohnJacobJingle

        Y’don’t really know what a ARV is, do you? Google before posting dear. You’ll sound smarter.

        • jimboivyo

          you need to pull your head out from inside your ass. If and when he tests positive for HIV he’ll be taking more than Truvada to stay alive.

          • Kim K’s Kute Koochy✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

            bahahahha FAIL again. Dumb shit like you should get your head outta YOUR role models RyRo & RuPaul’s asses before Donald Trump wins

            HIV has a dormant period avg of 7yrs so HIV+ patients w.o drugs can stay healthy for about that long. Truvada ALONE had shown promising results to maintain zero viral count in HIV+ patients enough so that the FDA to greenlight a large clinical trial.

            Now I understand all this medical talk is wayyyy above your perfectly coifed dragqueen hair. So go fix your mug dear

      • We will be paying for your medicare when you get old too you know.

  • NickDC

    Why did Jonny McGovern condone Killian James’ meth smoking prior to the live stream and not immediately kick him out of this charity event for the It Gets Better Project in Philadelphia that McGovern was the co-host?

    It’s a touch bothersome that this event’s backstage environment was one that Killian James felt comfortable openly smoking meth.

    Disturbing on multiple levels…

    • JustJim

      And why dont his “friends” Billy and Seth step in and stop him. I mean the lady that did not even know him was showing more concern for him than his friends. Sad! :(

      • Todd

        I imagine both Billy and Seth were trying to keep a wide berth …. You really don’t even see much of Billy there.

        Billy is maintaining his own sobriety and it is not easy to be around someone actively using, especially when they haven’t hit their bottom and are not receptive to help.

      • NickDC

        That’s an excellent point. I can almost understand why his friends didn’t intervene — it was not their event and if the event organizer/co-host didn’t have a problem with Killian openly smoking meth at the event, they might wonder if their intervention might cause unnecessary drama and decided to wait until after the event to address it with Killian. In my opinion, Killian made an awful decision but McGovern’s behavior (or lack-thereof) is equally reprehensible. Zach wrote: “McGovern points out, had been smoking meth prior to the live stream” McGovern was the co-host of this event. He allowed [or at least didn’t stop] Killian from openly smoking meth prior to the start of the live stream. Why condone people openly smoking meth at an event you’re co-hosting Jonny?

      • McM.

        I doubt Killian James has friends in the industry. They are just guys he works with, and likely keep their mouths shut to avoid being seen as hypocrites and/or getting the reputation of being judgmental and lose bookings. Alcohol and substances fuel nightlife in many places and ppl from rec. to businesses are either directly or peripherally participate in drug culture. Billy Santoro should probably leave tips on how he maintains his sobriety while working in those environments.

        As for actual friends outside of the industry, I bet Killian James somewhat distanced himself from them.

      • n24rc

        It’s because they are enablers for this behavior – they don’t’ care and find it entertaining to see someone self-destruct like this; which is amazing considering that one of them is an alcoholic.

    • Maximus

      No. The hosts aren’t necessarily in charge of the event. Often times they’re only invited/hired to keep people entertained and say a few important lines. If Dan Savage’s organization was producing the event, then its employees would have been responsible for ejecting an unruly performer.

    • Yury Gaydov

      Aren’t they all totally drunk there?

  • Xzamilloh

    So much disgustable-ness in one video.

  • Maximus
  • Greg

    Me after watching this

  • Greg

    Me after watching this video

  • John

    I follow him on twitter and he made more sense in that 12 min video than he has every on twitter…..that was entertaining, he is a druggie just like 75% of all porn stars…..meth is a problem, dude has issues, but to say he’s not good looking is crazy and he is a good performer….If I ever hired a escort it wouldn’t be him that’s for sure……I just hope he doesn’t have a heart attack or have a breakdown, it aint easy having so many enemies that it eats away at your insides….I wish him well…..,

    • 75% of all porn stars? Did you survey them all?

  • FooFight

    This makes me sad.

  • snoopyfo

    This got me cringing the whole time, that is touching rock bottom, OMG, i actually felt kinda bad for him, how sad…. thats a new low even for him… wow

  • The Anchor

    yikes..if vomit could talk. i hate that snorlax is getting attention.

  • Zealot

    Yes, Petula…raging drug-induced Ridiculoma affects the brain– particularly the part that distinguishes one’s anus from their mouth. There is no cure, but with those good folks out there calling in and pledging their hard-earned nickels and pennies…well, there’s just no telling how soon we may be looking at a cure. But like Mad Cow disease, individuals who progress to a certain stage and begin spewing incoherent non-sensical babble, and imagine non-existent friendships with Ryan Rose…well, Petula, they must be put down. The most humane thing we can do is to line them up at the edge of a dirt pit and tell them they’re going to see Santa, then BANG BANG…a couple shots to the cranium!! Very effective. Their corpses are usually then burned as we can’t let wolves, squirrels or vultures feast on their rotting flesh, lest they continue the contagion. So, Petula, while we should feel sorry for the sufferers, the relief to society at large more than outweighs the terrible sight of seeing them shot and pushed into a big, dark, dirty pit.

    And now, let’s hear “Walking on Sunshine” from Katrina and the Waves!!

  • kevin

    aw this ain’t anywhere near as entertaining as Kurt Wild’s drunken rant about Michael Lucas, the one where he thought the US was at war with Israel, and his very pregnant common-law wife came in to take away his empties.

  • Seth82

    what a fucked up crystal queen.

    a total tragic mess.

  • Todd

    She don’t love herself …. And we don’t love her either.

    Crack is whack, Killian. And so are you.

  • kevin

    even high he’s way hotter than ryan rose and diego sans (as in sans looks)

    • JohnJacobJingle

      Welcome to the site Killian. Tell us more about how you’re so incredibly handsome with that steriod/meth acne… We’re just dying to hear about it.

  • OverKill
  • Kim K’s Kute Koochy✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ
  • Kim K’s Kute Koochy✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    most importantly, WHERE ARE HIS EYE PUPILS???

  • Stuart

    He looks like one of those crazies that’s about to take a bite out of your flesh. That wasn’t even entertaining, it was just sad.

  • Jason

    Still have no idea who this creature is.

  • WhimsyCotton
  • RBLover

    Was wondering when this would show up here. I actually woke up the morning this was posted (I guess he did it very early morning), logged on to Facebook groggily and this was the first thing on my feed. I couldn’t finish watching it. It was so bizarre and sad that at multiple times I kept thinking, “No wait, this is a joke, he’s acting.” I’ve actually met him in real life years ago and he was no where near this incoherent. I’m still in disbelief that people can sink this low…

  • sxg

    Lol I love how Jonny supposedly doesn’t know who all these ppl that Gelatin James is throwing shade at. Bitch, you already told us about your extensive collection of porn already.

    And Gelatin can’t wait until your weeklong suicide!

  • nodoubtfan

    He’s baked out of his gourd, his “friends” there are not helping him and exploiting him hitting rock bottom…

    No words.

  • R.A.M.J

    Does he have no one in his life to give an intervention or get him the mental help he needs

  • czer

    Whoa! This looks and sounds like a typical Billy Santoro rant but without stale cum leaking out of his ass.

  • ToxicBrew

    I always wondered why Brent always has large sunglasses on even on cloudy days and now I know why. O_O This is why the beautiful Jayson is currently in PTSD after the breakup and acting out like a whore. Smh drugs ruin more than the user’s life.

    • R.A.M.J

      Jayson was a whore before that break up. And I still say he was using too. Maybe not to same level, but he was totallly sober.

  • Jace

    This will not end well.

  • Jason

    Who is worse, the person ranting and raving, or the person actively allowing and encouraging the ranter and raver and giving the a platform for the vitriol?

    • cluelesswitness

      the ranter

  • Alias74PornReviews

    Killian James = the new Jeff Palmer

    • He hasn’t said anything about AIDS not being real yet has he?

  • Alias74PornReviews

    I couldn’t watch it….I had to shut it off.

    Sigh…the cycle of the porn star. I’d repeat here but just go to Diesel Washington’s twitter and read and you’ll get the gist.

    • sans

      Let’s get Diesel Washington to roast his ass maybe that will bring him to submission!

      • R.A.M.J

        No lets not. That wont solve anything. Killian doesnt need roasting, he needs psychiatric help and detox.

  • joeguy45

    STOP Killian Before you totally self destruct and loose everthing… those great teeth being one of them…
    huge anger issues…

  • robirob

    I guess I learned something new today. I honestly thought that you inject meth in your veins and not smoke it.

    • Jer

      You can do either. People snort it, inject it, or smoke it usually. I’ve seen people try to take it anally and through their urethras too. Ugh.

      • McM.

        All of that sounds like such a fucking production!

        Amphetamines make ppl hyper, so you’d think they’d fuck up the process at some point.

        • Jer

          You should see some of the shit I’ve seen tourists get into when they’re vacationing where I live. You know how there has been porn made about pool balls being put into one’s anus?

          Rocks from the beach were instead used. Rocks.From.The.Mother.Fucking.Beach. Because THOSE won’t cause a massive infection at all (I can’t believe he survived it to be honest, must have some superpowers or amazing luck or guardian angels are real).

          • sanfv

            You need to write ( under a pseudonym of course because of HIPPA) about everything you’ve seen.

      • sanfv

        Aw! Just the right commentator!

        Real talk- I know Killian is probabaly lying about nursing school but in the tiny chance he actually is going ( along with Seth Santoro) what are the chances that they will be giving people medical care ?

        I’ve seen doctors be anti Vax and be dragged for filth, would these two be vetted for their dangerous life styles?

        • Jer

          If they manage to get through nursing school and not fail out AND manage to pass the NCLEX, they may be able to interview and get a job. The problem then becomes keeping said job.

          I’ve worked with nurses that are potheads, but they didn’t come in high to work. That contrasts with the one nurse I’ve worked with that had a narcotic problem, went into the Pyxis IN FRONT OF THE HOSPITAL CAMERAS and took out all the oxys, vicodin, and other pain pills out of the Pyxis and gobbled them all up and passed out on the med room floor, only to be found by other nurses when they went into the med room a little while later. So glad I don’t work inpatient anymore (and that I’m an NP instead of an RN now). She tried to say she was just taking a nap, but security rewatched the tape since it happened on night shift and she was busted. She had been in rehab before and had her nursing license reinstated, but after this stint it was pulled and she can never be a nurse again.

          If Killian uses meth, chances are he’ll come in to work high and his coworkers WILL notice, if he ever gets to that point. And if he does clean up his act, chances are he’ll annoy just the right person for them to find his porn and drug past, expose it to a manager, and he’d get fired. There are definitely nurses that backstab, so if he pisses off the wrong one, he’s screwed and not in the way he likes.

          Seth will face the same problem. If a nurse finds out about his porn past and his barebacking on camera and it gets blown open, it’s unlikely he’ll be able to keep a job without feeling really uncomfortable. I personally wouldn’t hire a porn star to work as a nurse for me, or a medical assistant, or a fellow provider in the office, unless their career had been short-lived and they had a good explanation for why they did it. For example, Liam Magnuson works for NASA and is a science nerd and did porn as experimentation. I could buy that as an excuse; Seth and Killian don’t have that luxury.

          As it stands, I enjoy porn and wish being in porn was more socially accepted. However, as the industry stands right now, it’s not because it attracts people that have undiagnosed or mismanaged psychiatric problems or are doing it to support a habit. If someone like Killian is that reckless on camera, it would make me think what he does when not being filmed is 10 times worse. Same for Seth, who I don’t think uses any hard drugs, but the unsafe sex with strangers part of it would make me question how good his judgement would be.

          Having gone to Gay Days at Disney this year and seen how non-gay porn star gays can act, I just have little faith left in gay men as a community. Certainly I have my friends who are nothing like what I witnessed, but the sheer transparency of having sex in front of strangers in a hot tub and doing drugs while there are families with children staying at the same hotel was just a huge turn off for me. It’s sad because gay men/lesbians are my favorite patients to have and it really left a bad taste in my mouth. Killian just makes it even worse.

          Sorry I pontificated so long.

      • Scrapple

        People are gross, and they have no home training.

  • revertstar

    that was enormously entertaining!

  • DrunkEnough

    White Trash intervention: Broadcast it on Facebook Live.

  • Emmanuell Masso

    It piqued my interest for a quick minute. Then…

  • Scrapple

    You literally see the moment where Jonny goes from thinking “Oh, this should be fucked up fun” to “Oh shit, where are Buffy and the Scoobies ‘cuz we’ve got to close this Hellmouth!” And was that shade Jonny threw at Zach or a joke? I couldn’t tell.

    TIM is shooting condoms flicks now? That’s news to me. Or was Killian too knackered to notice the lack of latex?

    If what Killian said is true, and these type of stories do bring on clients, I have a simple request: Should you choose to hire Killian knowing what you know, please do us all a favor and leave a note in an easily accessible location, stating your desire is to disappear and be left alone. That way we don’t have to waste valuable time, manpower and taxpayer dollars looking from your dumb decapitated ass. Also, please be sure to leave lots of photos so the production team at Dateline or 48hrs has something to work with. Thank you, and so long.

  • OneOfTheManyChris

    What does it mean to drive the traffic instead of conducting the train?

    Why can he not see Mickey Taylor’s abs?

    What is wrong with the skin on his chest?

  • n24rc

    Oh man, this isn’t entertaining, it’s truly uncomfortable to watch this guys decent into addiction…same fate as his father who overdosed. Didn’t he say he wouldn’t do those things?

    I really don’t think this should be covered. It’s really demeaning now, and not serving a purpose.

    • JohnJacobJingle

      It’s being covered because Killian brought this on himself. He ASKED for this attention, quite clearly in fact. This is what he thinks will bring him fame, fortune and success.

      The reason so few have compassion is because long before he was a meth-head, he was still a repugnant little fuck. James felt he could skip the hard work needed to be successful and just bully his way on top. The result of that is what you see now.

  • I caught one of his Periscope vids that he posted to Twitter earlier and my first thought was this bitch has been hitting the tina pipe. That would explain his delusions of grandeur and other recent odd behavior, and he exhibits the signs of a meth addict with his face noticeably sunken from weight loss. I just hope he can get some help before things get worse. But sometimes queens like him have to hit rock bottom before they can finally see the light and get help.

    Addiction is a disease but that does not excuse the racist behavior at all.

    He said that his vids he has given to Billy for leakedandloaded have all been given without payment to him because he was paying Billy back or some shit like that but then he said something about being done with that soon. It was tweaker talk but I have not seen any of his scenes on leakedandloaded yet so Billy is holding onto them still.

  • JDDaniels

    The host is stating Killian is “entertaining”, NO – this shit is “insanely frightening”. He’s going around using the “N” word like it’s candy, and takes pride saying it like it’s nothing.


  • Dot Beech

    Crystal is a nasty drug. With help, he may be able to quit, but the brain damage remains.

  • Erudite

    Gay “Porn Star” starting out says he will only do safe sex. Starts doing drugs and then bareback sex. Dies of either drug OD or AIDS related complications. How many times has this story been repeated? In that video, Killian’s speech is pressured with flight of ideas, and paranoid thoughts. He has lost weight as evidenced by the thinning in his cheeks from the meth use or HIV. How much longer before you expect to see an obituary on his passing?

  • Orlando Chan

    He clearly has mental health issues.

  • Parker Lewis

    hi Killian James

  • TheLisp


  • Corgis mclean

    Wasted youth and looks…

  • czer

    Killian James announced his retirement from escorting on Daddy’s Message Forum.

  • mrspatrickcampbell

    Why are most ‘out’ homosexuals on drugs?

  • SWSimpson

    Is he wearing a “hair system” of fake hair on top of his head? I know he thinks he’s really funny… but he’s not