Gay Porn Nightmare: Sean Cody Just Released One Of Their Worst Scenes Of All Time
And I thought the finale to their “Cabin” series was bad. Today, Sean Cody has released one of their worst scenes of all time, featuring embarrassingly bad ass eating, terrible filming, no direction, lifeless intercourse, fake cum shots, and zero chemistry between the performers. Those performers are Nikolai (as seen above) and someone named Garrett, who apparently did a solo five years ago, but I doubt anyone remembers him from then (nor will anyone remember him after today).
I refuse to waste very much time describing just how bad this is (I actually feel offended that the studio would release something this horrible), but here are some of the most disastrous moments:
—Nikolai says, “Oh my god, that feels so fucking good” approximately 500 times in this scene while Garrett lazily licks his butt cheeks and haphazardly “fucks” his ass (does barely moving count as fucking?). If you have the wherewithal to say “that feels so fucking good” this many times, it probably doesn’t feel that good.
—Once Garrett finally slides his dick into Nikolai’s ass, he only moves back and forth (I refuse to call it fucking) for 45 seconds before pulling out and cumming. Talk about a two pump chump. They sort of act like this didn’t happen(?), and Garrett slides back inside to continue moving back and forth. But then, 28 seconds later, Garrett says he’s going to cum again, pulls out again, and moves his dick up to Nikolai’s mouth, as if he’s going to give him a facial. The camera then randomly cuts away, and there is no cum shot. The next time we see them, they’re kissing, and Nikolai says, “I loved that so much.” Huh? This is both a mess and also just weird as hell on multiple levels, and here’s a clip:
—As if the sex weren’t bad enough, the filming is even worse. Then again, maybe the cameraman was bored, fell asleep, and forgot to move the camera around. Can’t blame him.
—They eventually move to a couch and Garrett says he’s going to cum again, and this time he does shoot some cum into Nikolai’s mouth, but again, the filming is so bad, you barely see it.
—Finally, it’s time for Nikolai’s fake cum shot, which is probably the worst fake cum shot I’ve ever seen. At this point, I guess everyone on set had basically given up, and they just squirted some lotion into Nikolai’s hand, told him to rub it on his soft dick while he shook it back and forth, and called it a day. It’s literally insulting that they would try to pass this off as porn:
As horrendous as this is, look on the bright side, at least Sean Cody has 15 years worth of high quality movies featuring the hottest gay po—hahaha, just kidding. The studio’s entire catalog of 2,000+ videos from 2001-2015 is still pulled down from the site, with no word on when (or if) the videos will ever be put back online.
There hasn’t been anything this bad on Sean Cody since Brandon’s bottoming debut, but at least that had Tanner and a production crew that tried to edit it into something decent. For this scene, it’s clear that no one cared at all, from the director (there might not have been one, tbh) to the editor (again, there might not have been one) to the performers. This is one of the worst gay porn scenes of all time. Here’s the trailer, although you are even stupider than me if you waste your time watching this:
