Did Michael Lucas Just Release The Worst Gay Orgy Scene Of All Time?
Today, on December 26th, Michael Lucas’s severely troubled gay porn studio Lucas Entertainment (LOL…”entertainment”) has released the Very Merry Bareback Christmas orgy finale, and in addition to being a day late, it’s literally the worst orgy I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Everyone knew this thing would be bad when we saw it was a blatant rip off of Sean Cody’s “Mountain Getaway,” but I honestly had no idea it would be this bad.
I’ve been watching porn for over two decades, and never in all those years have I seen a gay orgy so boring, so basic, so ratchet, and so repulsive all at the same time. Shaky camera work, editing that’s sloppier than most of these assholes, fake cum, overly Photoshopped images, and several creepy looking models (Manhunt’s Dewitt said it best when he observed that “everyone looks like a Disney villain about to poison his rival”) all make this the most unwatchable, unsexy, and unbelievably cheap gay porn scene of the year, if not ever. I guess it’s true that Michael Lucas walked away with nothing after his former sugar daddy/husband Richard Winger divorced him, which might be sad if Duckface weren’t so detestable.
It’s hard to tell what’s more blown-out: The trashy couches and rugs they’re fucking on, or some of the models’ holes. With the tacky furniture, 99 Cents Store-quality holiday props, and raggedy costumes, this scene looks like it was filmed in a Goodwill holiday display window. Even the fire looks used.
If you need a good laugh, here’s the promo copy, which claims that Dato Foland has “always” wanted a gay bareback sex orgy (just like he’s always wanted to give fake interviews, right?):
Dato Foland gets a gay bareback orgy for Christmas: While Tanner Bradley is riding Santiago Figueroa’s cock, Dato Foland and Nigel Banks not-so-accidently find them in the middle of their heated sexual affair and decide to jump in balls deep. But the situation wouldn’t be complete without Donnie Dean and Ivan Gregory. What ensues is something Dato Foland has always wanted for Christmas: a gay bareback sex orgy!
And if you need a good cry (or a reason to kill yourself), here’s the trailer. Warning: Have a barf bag handy.
