Did Michael Lucas Just Release The Worst Gay Orgy Scene Of All Time?

Posted December 26, 2014 by with 44 comments

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Today, on December 26th, Michael Lucas’s severely troubled gay porn studio Lucas Entertainment (LOL…”entertainment”) has released the Very Merry Bareback Christmas orgy finale, and in addition to being a day late, it’s literally the worst orgy I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Everyone knew this thing would be bad when we saw it was a blatant rip off of Sean Cody’s “Mountain Getaway,” but I honestly had no idea it would be this bad.

I’ve been watching porn for over two decades, and never in all those years have I seen a gay orgy so boring, so basic, so ratchet, and so repulsive all at the same time. Shaky camera work, editing that’s sloppier than most of these assholes, fake cum, overly Photoshopped images, and several creepy looking models (Manhunt’s Dewitt said it best when he observed that “everyone looks like a Disney villain about to poison his rival”) all make this the most unwatchable, unsexy, and unbelievably cheap gay porn scene of the year, if not ever. I guess it’s true that Michael Lucas walked away with nothing after his former sugar daddy/husband Richard Winger divorced him, which might be sad if Duckface weren’t so detestable.

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It’s hard to tell what’s more blown-out: The trashy couches and rugs they’re fucking on, or some of the models’ holes. With the tacky furniture, 99 Cents Store-quality holiday props, and raggedy costumes, this scene looks like it was filmed in a Goodwill holiday display window. Even the fire looks used.

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If you need a good laugh, here’s the promo copy, which claims that Dato Foland has “always” wanted a gay bareback sex orgy (just like he’s always wanted to give fake interviews, right?):

Dato Foland gets a gay bareback orgy for Christmas: While Tanner Bradley is riding Santiago Figueroa’s cock, Dato Foland and Nigel Banks not-so-accidently find them in the middle of their heated sexual affair and decide to jump in balls deep. But the situation wouldn’t be complete without Donnie Dean and Ivan Gregory. What ensues is something Dato Foland has always wanted for Christmas: a gay bareback sex orgy!

And if you need a good cry (or a reason to kill yourself), here’s the trailer. Warning: Have a barf bag handy.

  • buffy2004

    what the fuck is happening to dato’s face in that first promo image?? this is awful and i didn’t even see the trailer.

    • Drew Barrymore

      Just Duckface Enterfakement being to porn what autotune is to music.

      • brilliant comment….

        • moondoggy

          Who even cares about this update with the hot avatars in the comments. Drew or True? I don’t know whose face I want to lick first.

          I don’t hate anything involving Dato fucking raw, but his time at LE has been a huge disappointment.

    • sxg

      The studio seems to overdo on the photoshopping when the model pics need none. Pedro Andreas was actually looking good in his scene with Dato, but those pics of him they touched up were god awful and made him look like a ghoulish terrorist!

    • DeanD

      Yikes! I didn’t even realize it was him until I read your comment. Just wow.

    • Istanballu

      Probably more of a consequence of some faces don’t look good with the use of flash/shitty cameras. Kiond of makes me happy that someone as hot as him still has to go through the proper lighting, etc to take a good pic.

      • buffy2004

        i think is more that lucas use too much photoshop because he doesn’t even look like him.i mean he looks weird here even compared to other pictures of him from the same studio.it is just a disaster.

  • Drew Barrymore

    Shade!

  • sxg

    Most of these models aren’t bad looking at all, but duckface studios has sunk very low when it comes to picture and directing quality. The picture always looks foggy and grainy, did Marc Macnamara take all the good camera equipment with him when he left the studio? My 4 year old $200 point-and-shoot Sony digital camera takes clearer picture than what this mess of a studio comes out.

    And do I need to say anything more about the directing that everyone else hasn’t already said? I can’t see this being directed well, they can barely handle directing a good duo scene, they’re just asking for a huge mess when they’re trying to direct 7 guys.

    • If it’s in focus, it’s pornography, if it’s out of focus, it’s art…maybe he was going for the latter…

  • andrew

    I didn’t see it, but that guy in the red tights holding the Christmas present looks SMOKIN HOT!!!

    • Andre

      I’m not familiar. He looks like one of the many outsourced Jake Cruise models.

    • sxg

      That’s Ivan Gregory. He used to date Jed Athens, and when they broke up Jed trashed him all over the gay porn community and apparently the studios were stupid enough to think Jed was a reliable source, so they never gave Ivan a chance. It’s a bit sad too, because had it not been for Jed, Ivan probably wouldn’t have had to go to duckface studios for porn work.

  • C3xxx

    Fake cum or is that a tampon string hanging from the dude’s hole? I may need to hit the spiked egg nog again….

    • BLACKjackHAMMER

      The spike egg nog would have made viewing this CRAP a lit bit more tolerable !!!

  • OneOfTheManyChris

    Lemon Party.

    If you don’t get it…don’t ask.

  • Andre

    The description completely leaves out Lucas Knight, who has been the only good thing in LE videos the last few months

    • zach

      True.

    • And he bottoms in this one.

  • zach

    I just realized that I may have been too harsh in my critique, as there is at least ONE good thing about this gay porn orgy: Michael Lucas isn’t in it.

    • Who?

    • LB

      Were there production credits at the end? I’m curious who’s directing/shooting/editing their stuff now.

    • GN

      I dunno about that–I’ve always imagine, if nothing else, the man can probably suck a good dick–I bet those lips have more suction than a Dyson. And probably cost less, too.

    • JJ

      ML is one of my favourite gay porn stars and I want to have hot sweaty sex with him!!!!

      So I’m gonna have to down vote you for this!

  • dave1984

    “Even the fire looks used.” LOL @zack

  • BLACKjackHAMMER

    As if U were expecting high quality from such a low life piece of crap like DUCK FACE LUCAS !!!

  • Zealot

    Maybe the performers “enthusiasm” was tempered by fear that their paychecks would bounce! And that certainly isn’t very Christmas-y.

  • Istanballu

    So are we to assume Dato is poz now?

    • ARTASERSE

      Actually, many Poz porn actors go into condom porn…

      • Istanballu

        Not quite sure what this means :)

  • Is Adam Killian still working for LE?

    • wilfredo arias

      He’s probably directing.

  • Adrian Sanderson

    Cheap and nasty. Every time that ugly Adam Killian takes a camera in his oily hands it’s a total disaster. I just don’t get Lucas why he is keeping this useless idiot on board.

  • Estelle

    Even worse then the next door male orgy? No dancing Pomeranians this time?

  • dave1984

    They have such shitty video quality lately. Like this guy Jack Styles who looked hotter in his webcam show than in the video . Don’t even start w the pics. WTF

  • Alan. P. (Hansen)

    Was anyone’s pay deducted for eating a chocolate chip cookie?

  • I didn’t think it was all that bad nyself. I am sick of hearing Dato Foland’s name though.

  • Where’s Dato? I honestly can’t see him in any of the pictures? Is he the one in the middle? What did they DO to him? You’d think that if there’s anything you do not need to photoshop it’s pornstars. And what the hell happened to all of Lucas hot models, cuz he used to have some. Agassi, Brand, Scott Carter… I forget who else off the top of my head, but have everyone jumped ship?

  • Cosmic

    WOW! Those holes make the Grand Canyon look tight!

  • ThatsEnoughGravy

    I like Dato Foland and Lucas Knight, but I wouldn’t pay to watch this. The other guys are average-looking at best

    • JJ

      Men don’t have to be handsome to be sexy hot!

  • ARTASERSE

    I actually downloaded the scene, forwarded through it and then deleted the file. It was just BAD. And the fake cum was the worst.

  • AC

    I get you don’t like Michael Lucas, but why trash the models? They’re all varying degrees of hot, and I’m sure if they worked for CockyBoys or Sean Cody you’d be singing their praises.