Str8UpGayPorn’s 2020 Year In Review, Or: How I Learned That I’m The Women Of Men.com
The women of Men.com—i.e., the actors and production assistants paid to portray flabbergasted girlfriends, co-workers, wives, or moms discovering the men in their lives having gay sex—have been mocked for their histrionics and criticized for their redundant appearances, while Men.com scenes featuring these women have been rightly criticized for veiled homophobia and misogyny. Problematic plots and bad (yet sometimes great?) acting aside, while assembling photos to prepare the annual Year In Review recap of gay porn news stories, I kept coming across scene after scene after scene featuring Men.com’s distressed and humiliated women, and then it hit me: In 2020, I became the women of Men.com. The women of Men.com are me.
While it certainly wasn’t their intent, Men.com has been holding up a mirror in 2020 to show what this year has done to me. Art imitates life, and like the women of Men.com, I am perpetually in shock, routinely horrified, in total disarray, and completely disgusted. Not by my son or my husband having gay sex (if only!), but by the state of the world and the seemingly endless tragedies unfolding every day. After sitting alone (well, not entirely alone, thanks to my dog) in my house for 10 months, 2020 has left me angry, confused, depressed, and exhausted. I see the looks on the faces of the women of Men.com, and I see myself watching cable news at 3 a.m. every night.
The coronavirus pandemic and real-life catastrophes are obviously incomparable to some lady walking in on her son sucking dick, but based on their facial expressions alone, the women of Men.com are an accurate reflection of my mental state in 2020. Therefore, the women of Men.com will serve as visual aids (think of them as different versions of me turning on CNN every day) to guide us through this admittedly bleak 2020 gay porn recap.
Here is Str8UpGayPorn’s 2020 Year In Review:
In January, things were actually going OK (little did I know what was coming), and the Str8UpGayPorn Awards & Summit were hosted by Kathy Griffin. Remember the month of January, which feels like 457 years ago? Remember the amazing winners at the ceremony? Remember what it was like being in a room with hundreds of other people? (I suppose the superspreading gays still going to clubs in Puerto Vallarta can.)
Shortly before the Str8UpGayPorn Awards, there was the arrest of twink gay porn star Trent Olsen, which was caught on camera by his boyfriend, Daniel Hausser, who went on to record Olsen again while visiting him in jail. Olsen eventually pleaded guilty to raping his own 8-year-old brother, and he’ll be sentenced to at least 15 years in prison. Hausser, hopefully, will not be forced upon us in any more gay porn in 2021.
Olsen wasn’t the only gay porn star facing serious (and seriously disturbing) criminal charges in 2020, as former performer Kurt Wild was arrested in Missouri for raping a 10-year-old girl, and Aspen was arrested for child molestation in Georgia. Charges in both cases are still pending as they await trial, but that didn’t stop Raging Stallion from releasing a new movie with Aspen on the cover.
Oh, and by the way? Former gay porn star turned convicted sex offender Sebastian Young was shot dead following a high speed police chase in Florida (of course). Just another typical day in 2020.
Not all the news was disturbing in 2020, as Jarec Wentworth was finally released from prison in early April (just in time for lockdowns around the world and studio productions being shut down). Also, social media wars at least served to distract from the horrors going on in the real world: Armond Rizzo and Ricky Larkin argued over bottoms allegedly being paid less, Küper criticized Pierce Paris for shooting douche water out of his ass, Ryan Rose fought with his co-stars after being blocked on Twitter (which got him fired), Devin Franco took issue with “desperate” gay-for-payer Collin Simpson, and performer Ruslan Angelo told Michael Lucas to fuck off.
Also, some people even tried to come for me after I spoke out against gay partygoers breaking quarantine and potentially committing negligent homicide. The absurd attempted cancellation was an exercise in futility for the failed Twitter mob, and guess what? I still believe that murder is wrong.
In other news that doesn’t fit into any category (other than generating a lot of discussion here), Ryan Rose was hospitalized with a “broken dick” after using an erectile dysfunction drug, former performer Logan McCree came out as a “men’s rights” activist (whatever the fuck that is), Corbin Fisher’s Max joined OnlyFans, Corbin Fisher’s Ethan appeared on a CBS reality show, and the Maverick Men made their bisexual porn debut. In 2020, anything was possible.
Of all the racist and brain dead garbage we waded through in 2020, was there anyone worse than racist and brain dead karaoke singer Bryan Hawn? (Maybe Billy Santoro, but his section is below.) After inexplicably blaming cancer victims for their deaths, the OnlyFans grifter and Trump-supporting lunatic revealed himself to be an anti-Semite, and he also made racist remarks about Black and Asian people. Then, Hawn lied about having coronavirus, claimed to have been “cured” by an herbal supplement, and tried to hawk his mother’s $20 nutrition pamphlet.
Despite the pandemic and the lockdowns (although, was anyone truly “locked” down? I still see people traveling and partying on Instagram every single day), 2020 gave birth to a new era of protests and demands for racial justice following the police murder of George Floyd in May. Dozens of gay porn stars joined the movement nationwide, and some were even arrested for peacefully protesting.
While the protests were and are a positive force for good, they also brought out the bad in some. When discussing the issue of racial inequality in porn, caveman-esque dolt Ricky Larkin announced that “there are just not that many good looking black guys in porn.” On the bright side, that idiotic statement effectively ended Larkin’s boring career (which was already on life support). Around the same time, former CockyBoy Ben Masters was swiftly fired after saying he wouldn’t “join the black people in these parades.” His reasoning? He claimed a black person once called him a faggot. Whether or not that’s true is obviously irrelevant to the purpose of the protests. (And for what it’s worth, I agree: Ben Masters is a faggot.)
Things can always get worse, and after seeing what Ben Masters said, Billy Santoro was like…hold my meth pipe. The disgraced former gay porn star took to Facebook and wrote that Americans should “shoot first” upon seeing “your blacks” who were protesting. After severe backlash online (which, grotesquely, is probably what he wanted), Santoro’s troll husband posted photos of Santoro in what appeared to be a hospital, and wrote that Santoro attempted to commit suicide. This was, of course, a lie, but all’s well that ends well, because Santoro was subsequently kicked off OnlyFans, had his trashy membership site shut down, and was evicted for filming drug-fueled sex parties in his apartment. Last I checked, Santoro was attempting to charge people to watch him shoot up meth and have sex on Zoom.
We’ve seen plenty of maskless covidiot Karens in 2020, but did you know there are covidiot gay porn stars, too? A quick reminder:
—Dallas Steele refused to be tested for COVID-19 before filming content, telling a potential scene partner, “I’m not going to live my life in fear.”
—Quin Quire said that COVID-19 “isn’t deadly enough,” and that it was “good to kill off the weak from a population.” He added,” I’m tired of letting the weakest people tell us how to live our lives.”
—Clueless Canadian performer Rocky Vallarta agreed with Quire, asking, “Why is this such a polemic thing to say?” in response to Quire’s “not deadly enough” nonsense. The clown-to-clown conversation got crowded, because Ricky Larkin replied to Vallarta, writing, “It’s not. People are just insecure as fuck.”
—Alt-right Trump stooge and bigoted dipshit Sergeant Miles said he would not quarantine or isolate in response to COVID, “unless the government forces marshal [sic] law.”
—Michael Jackman showed that he had no idea how coronavirus is transmitted when he wrote, “Funny how y’all can be afraid of covid, but sucking 10 dicks in a row at the bathhouse a year ago…there was nothing to worry about lmao.”
There were two notable gay porn political stories this year, with racist former gay porn star Antonio Biaggi running (and losing, thankfully) for city council in Florida, and performer Sean Harding claiming that U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham paid Harding (and many other gay porn stars) for sex. Harding never provided the evidence needed to prove that the closeted homosexual Graham was hiring sex workers, but I believe him. I also believe the two other sex workers who told me their own stories of having sex with Graham for money. Like Harding, these two individuals were unable to provide tangible proof (texts, video, etc.), and they aren’t willing to come forward at this time.
Finally, two well-known industry figures were accused of sexual assault and harassment this year, and their accusers were young men they had working for them. The first was director Chi Chi LaRue, who eventually admitted to drinking excessively and sexually harassing the model during production of a Noir Male movie. LaRue was fired for that behavior by parent company Mile High Media, but has vowed to return to porn. In the second case, JustForFans owner Dominic Ford was accused of rape by two young men who are more than half Ford’s age. Both of the accusers were independent contractors for Ford’s company, and both of them had sexual and personal off-camera relationships with Ford. Ford has denied the accusations while continuing to have sexual relationships with other young contractors, and he’s hired a lawyer known for defending neo-Nazis to sue one of his alleged rape victims for defamation.
I would rather walk in on my non-existent boyfriend having gay sex with someone else every single day for the rest of my life than have to experience anything like 2020 again. May the new year bring at least a little bit of happiness to all of our daily lives, may the news be a little less grim, and may the women of Men.com finally find peace, wherever they are.
